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A group of one

I’ve noticed recently that people seem to need to be in some sort of group. We’ve joined several groups: Chair yoga, circuit training, healthy diet seminars, monster truck mechanics for seniors and much more.

GroupMaybe group culture started back in the cave man (or cave people to be politically correct) days when we hunted in packs The men hunted while the women sat around talking about babies and kittens and how to cook them; the kittens, not the babies.

I can see the women sitting down as a group after the hunt, gutting, skinning and hacking at the kill. (Thoughts of their hubbies giving them inspiration.) Or doing the laundry as a group, arguing about who gets what rock to bash their loin cloths on. Again using their hubbies as inspiration. (“Take that you *%#&*@!!!”) In the meantime, the hubbies are sitting around the fire B-S-ing about boobs, fermented mare’s milk and who’s got the biggest spear.

Personally, I don’t like being a member of a group. Except of course the Beer and Book club. I tend to join up full of enthusiasm and then fade away after a couple of visits. We joined chair yoga to help get Rosalie back into shape. I didn’t need it of course as I am a perfect specimen. (?)

In the end, I stopped going as I was the only guy there and couldn’t take the stares of all the little old ladies. I thought they might do Rosalie some sort of damage trying to get to me. Once again it reminded me of the scene from “The Birds” where they all sit around staring at you. One little old lady (my age) almost fell off the perch on the back of her chair. You’d think they’d never seen a man before.

I’ve noticed that all of these groups consist mainly of women? Perhaps guys are more introverted and would rather not be involved. Or perhaps they don’t like mixed groups, preferring their own company. Mixed groups somehow don’t seem to work anyway. In any social situation, the men and women tend to drift away from each other; somewhat like oil and water, or Trump and the Republican Party.

It’s probably that our interests are different. Women like to talk about babies and kittens and guys like to talk about beer, boobs and who’s got the biggest deck.

I once went to group therapy for depression. Again I was the only guy there. Seeing that course through was tough but in the end, I realised that I was just fine. All the women were far worse off than I was. I tried to bring on a few tears to keep up, but it just didn’t work.

Women in their group will touch and hug each other. Men, on the other hand, will say, ” You can sit with me but don’t get too close.” But there is always that one guy!

 

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