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Tourists

What I call necessary but sometimes a nuisance. It’s nice and peaceful here until the first flights start to arrive.

When picking people up from the airport you can tell as they come off the plane the newbies from the regulars. The newbies stand and look around apprehensively wondering if their ride has turned up or if they are going to be able to order a taxi in English. They are also still wearing their jeans and long sleeve shirts, running shoes with socks and sometimes even a coat, and perspiring profusely. The regulars stride out with confidence wearing shorts sandals and T-shirts and looking as cool as an icy margarita.

We can also tell who they are as they pass on the street. When we say “buenos dias” they usually reply in a shy way with “Hi” or sometimes “bonjour”. And of course, they are very pale and after a few days very red from sunburn.

We sat at Papa Gallo’s one day and a pale couple came to sit at a table near the beach. Gaby served them and I guess they ordered a beer. There wasn’t any available so Gaby had to hike to the nearest store to get some. In the meantime, the tourists got fed up with waiting (about 5 minutes) and got up to leave. They met up with Gaby as they were going and he showed them they had the beer so they returned to their table.

It’s lucky they weren’t here when it was busy as a 15 to 20 minutes wait is quite acceptable. After a while though, and after several days and a few margaritas, they seem to settle down somewhat. Anyway, who minds waiting when the sun is out, the waves are crashing and a nice breeze is blowing? And of course, you can also watch the chiquitas on the beach

Some order hamburgers and fries at the restaurant because they are a little afraid to try the local food. It may be too spicy and the lettuce may be contaminated. They were told not to have ice in their drinks because this too is contaminated. All nonsense of course but these old silly rumours seem to persist.

There are the quiet ones who just sit and enjoy the scenery and listen to the waves crashing on the beach. And then there are the brash noisy ones (We all know who they are) who treat the waiters as their personal slaves and are only here to party with no regard for those about them.

The ones we get a kick out of are those who have perfect Spanish (they think). We cringe as they mangle the language and look all proud of themselves. They think that because the waiter understood them that they got it exactly right. The waiters though have heard it all before and managed to work it out. But at least some tourists try.

We were walking into town one day and a guy wanted to know if they were serving so stuck his head in the door and enquired “Servieta?” He was asking for a napkin, but he tried.

Another way to tell a tourist is when Banamex ATMs run out of money on the weekends. They are the ones lining up in the heat outside the Intercam bank to try to use the machines while the old hands walk in and use the teller to get money from their accounts. It’s chaos when both banks run out.

The Mexicans are the nicest people you could meet but some can be a little reticent until they get to know you. They may seem standoffish to some tourists and perhaps they feel resentment. Perhaps the Mexicans feel the same way about them.

Tourists always walk in the middle of the road. I think this is because a lot of businesses and homes tend to encroach onto the sidewalks and they don’t want to intrude on the locals. They ride their rented bikes any which way down a one-way street and don’t look where they are going. I almost nailed one a few days ago because they weren’t paying attention. Mexican cyclists have more respect for cars but the tourists think they have the right of way no matter which way they are going. Watch out if they have a rental car for the first time, they’re even more dangerous than the Mexican drivers.

Businesses covering the sidewalk. Now you can see why Rosalie knocks a few things over after a couple of margaritas.

We have heard of tourists saying that there are too many Mexicans on the beach even though this is a traditional Mexican seaside resort. A friend even heard of one lady say she has been coming here for several years and was surprised that the Mexicans still don’t speak English. And of course, the Quebecois try to teach them to speak French when they are trying to learn English.

Some tourists can sometimes be a pain in the butt, sometimes great, and appreciate the Mexicans and the fact that they are in paradise. Whoever they are wherever they come from, they are critical to the economy here and are welcomed. But of course, a lot of the tourists come here regularly and know the ropes.

We are very aware of these tourists as that describes us seventeen years ago when we first came. I remember walking into town in runners and long sports socks because I didn’t have sandals. The only Spanish I knew was “Dos cerveza por favor”

And it’s peaceful again when the last flights leave.

Rivalry

Mike and Faye called us to meet somewhere on the beach. We eventually agreed to meet at Tito’s.

As soon as Rosalie and I walked in, I knew we were in trouble. Mike and Faye were already sitting at a table always used by the same local Norteńos. As there was nobody else in the place, we weren’t too concerned. However, soon, somebody who usually sits at that table came in, glared at us, sat at another, unfamiliar-to-them table, and the staring game began.

The looks we got

Eventually, their table filled up and we started to be outnumbered. It was interesting to see the resentment in these people. There were whispers and accompanied glares but we ignored it all and ordered another round of drinks. We were having fun other than the feeling of burning hatred coming from across the room.

Us

Tito himself came in and gave us a friendly greeting which seemed to upset them even more. One old lady was blustering so much that she almost had her false teeth drop into her neighbour’s margarita. I was cheering the teeth on but they caught on her oxygen tube just in time and slipped back into her mouth.

If it came to a punch-up Mike said he would take the lady with the oxygen tank and I would get the guy with the walker, while the girls refreshed our drinks. If war started we had time for another drink as it would take them that amount of time to cross the room.

They had probably been sitting in the same place since 1974 and resented us sitting there now. How dare we! I bet it spoiled their whole week. Next time we go we have to be early so we can grab the same table and watch them stew. I’m so mean!

We are on nodding acquaintance with some of them but I expect we won’t get that little bit of respect from them anymore. Soon the word will go around town about upstarts sitting at the wrong table and we will have to go to Barra to get a quiet drink without all the harsh looks.

Our car

Our car, like us, is getting old and decrepit. Since we returned, it developed a grating noise in the front brakes. The same thing happened a few years ago. I suspect the dust and sand have a way of wearing down the brake pads.

We have tried several repair shops, but we needed one close to home so that we could walk to and fro in the heat without too much discomfort.

Our very first repair was done by a shop owned by a couple of brothers, Los Hermanos, but they moved so another Oxxo could move in. So when we heard that they were at a different location, fairly close by, we looked them up.

We showed up one morning and the brother who spoke English, Juan, remembered us from our repair four years ago. He said that they were short-staffed as three of his guys had Dengue. He told us to be there the next morning at nine o’clock and not to be late. When we finished laughing at his precise time we went back home.

Juan

The next day and just to mess with him we arrived at Exactly 9 am. He told us that we would get the car back that day. (Sure!)

After arriving home and preparing to go to the beach, Juan called me and said he couldn’t find the security socket to remove the wheel. I suggested several locations including the trunk where the spare tire was kept. But no, he couldn’t find it.

Rosalie was down for a nap so I grabbed my Tilly hat and sunglasses and hiked to the repair place. My leg was still giving me a hard time so this was a bit of a chore.

When I got there I rechecked all the places I had told him to look but with no success. Then I checked the trunk and in the well where the spare was, I found the missing piece. Juan said that he had checked in there but hadn’t find it. I think he was stalling for time.

Me after checking the oil.

As my leg was sore I got him to drive me home and he promised to call when the repair was done later in the day. That didn’t happen. We had gone to Tito’s for refreshment and didn’t hear from Juan for the rest of the day. However, it was two-for-one at Tito’s so by this time we didn’t care anyway.

I called him the next morning and told him we needed the car pronto as we had friends to pick up at the airport. He said it would be finished in two hours. Sure enough three hours later he showed up at the door with the car. I ran him back to the garage but didn’t have enough money to pay him so I told him that he would have to trust me. He said, “Don’t worry I know where you live.” I said I would be back in an hour and took off. I thought I would wait for two hours just for some revenge.

The car drives great now. They replaced the rear brake shoes (not the front) and one cylinder, the total cost was 2,000 pesos, about $140 CDN.

Juan also told me that there was a squeak in the front end, which I knew about but couldn’t get anyone to fix it previously. So, next week, I will return again and wait another couple of days to get the car back.

Home again

While on the way to the bus depot, we asked Manuel how much he would be charging us for his services. He had taken us on four trips. He said 300 pesos ($20.81). We thought he had done far more than this as he was available whenever we needed him and was never late. So we gave him 500 pesos ($34.74) 

He was happy and told us to call anytime we were in town and in need of a driver.

The bus ride down was uneventful and I even naped a few times. Not like me at all.

After arriving home we dropped off the luggage and walked up town for some food. Jorge at Terazza Cortez was happy to see us and we had a nice meal. We were also greeted by other Mexicans whom we know.

Nice sunset, a cool breeze, a cold drink, and a nice meal, all great except for that darn condensation.

There are some disadvantages to living here. For example, at lunch the other day, I ordered a glass of wine, and the condensation ran across the table, and I put my elbow in it. This is a classic first-world problem.

The next afternoon, we went to meet Castulo to get our car out of storage. There are several locks on the garage door, and he has about 2000 keys to choose from. So, we sat and waited in the shade until he sorted it all out.

Then he opens the door and there’s our baby, under about a half inch of dust. The driver’s door was blocked so I climbed over the seat to unlock the hood. After reconnecting the battery I climb back in and turn the key: Brooom! starts the first time every time. It’s an old Mexican beater car but it’s reliable and we don’t worry about looks.

There is so much sand in the car that we ordered a small shop vac. There is enough sand in there to start our own beach.

Down here, we only use windshield wipers for dust removal. In this case, the water had run out, but most of the dust was removed. I dread thinking about what the wipers would be like in the rain after all that abrasion.

Malecón and monkeys

Part of staying at Stephen’s casa was that his friend/neighbour Manuel, who is an Uber driver, lives just around the corner and we could use him whenever we wanted to. Very handy!

In the morning he drove us down to the Malecón so that we could get acclimated, have lunch and a few two-for-one margaritas.

One of our favourite places is the Zoo. It’s a lot of fun and the monkey likes me. You may remember this video from a blog a few years ago.

The monkey wasn’t there today so I spoke to one of the meseros and asked “Donde esta el Mono?” “Where’s the monkey?” He told me that it was his day off. So I showed him the video. And he burst out laughing.

It seems that the guy in the monkey suit is gay. I showed the video to some of the other meseros and they too found it hilarious. One of the guys said that the monkey starts with the nips and works his way down. I wasn’t as uncomfortable with this as I should have been but it was a great laugh. In the meantime, we had our margaritas and I also had a glass of wine, then started going to meet Manuel.

Realizing that we had nearly an hour to kill we made the mistake of checking out a tequila store. It wasn’t a good idea as Rosalie was already a little wobbly so she ended up buying a $100 bottle. It was lucky that there was a bit of time to kill as the sales guy knew his stuff and gave us a seminar on different kinds of Tequila. Rosalie’s bottle is great tequila though and I might even get a sip or two.

At this stage, the cash peso money was getting a little low so we got Manuel to take us to the marina to get some more food and replenish our finances. After that, we were totally done in. With the change in temperature and the jet lag to say nothing of the margaritas; there was also a lot of walking done today.

In the evening, after Manuel rescued us again, we just sat and read our devices had a little snooze and cooled off.

The trip down

We were up at 3 am for the drive to the Comox airport. I hate getting up at that time but it is worth it.

We got to YVR and walked about five miles to our gate.

We had checked our case in Comox as well as the box with the 3D printer and hoped for the best. 

I was worried that when we got to PV the Mexican customs would make me open it up. I didn’t like the idea of doing this as it was packed with all sorts of other goodies.  I had 2 kilos of wine gums and didn’t want to use my season’s supply (well about three weeks actually).

All our stuff arrived in PV okay, and we had no real problems. I had purchased straps with handles to make carrying it easier. One broke at home the second time I lifted it and the second one didn’t show up in PVR. Crap quality.

We got a taxi to the bus depot and purchased our tickets to Melaque. Then we had to get another taxi to Stephen’s house and that’s when the problem began.

The taxi driver obviously didn’t even know what city he was in and after driving around for a while we told him to drop us at Soriana’s supermarket to get wine and the phones recharged. He charged us twice the going rate and didn’t even get us to our destination. After calling Claudia she spoke to a different driver and we arrived tired but undefeated.

The way Rosalie looks says it for both of us.

That evening, Claudia took us to a hamburger restaurant Carl Jr’s for dinner. There was a two-for-one special on and the lineup circled the inside of the store. It went down fairly quickly though and we were seated in about twenty minutes.

The weather is bearable and not as hot as we expected. That evening, we slept like babies.

Kids

When I was an eight-year-old kid in England, there was a comic called Lion. I loved it and wanted to be a member of their club. I sent away for the official badge and the waiting began.

Sometime later, I was reading my beloved comic when my fifteen-year-old brother Joe came in and said he would give me a small package if I gave him the comic to read. I was so excited I immediately agreed, my badge had arrived; I was in heaven.

This all came back to me when I watched “A Christmas Story” where young Ralfie gets his decoder ring. I felt the same jubilation that he did. It’s such a small thing to bring so much happiness. I’m sure today’s kids get the same thrill we did, but I wonder over what.

They may get some joy out of online stuff but we got a solid object to touch and feel and most importantly, to show off to our friends.

Back in those days, we got all sorts of things free with our comics and magazines. When I worked at a wholesale newspaper and magazine distributor the women’s magazines often came with a free sachet of shampoo. As the unsold magazines didn’t have to be returned we usually ended up with a whole bunch of free shampoo to take home.

We used to get Playboy magazine but there were never any free samples. As a nineteen-year-old, I was quite disappointed.

I remember one time there was a free 45 rmp record but I can’t remember what it had on it.

Our last days

With a couple of days to go before we leave, it’s time f0r Rosalie to clean up all the leftover food. This is the time I suffer the most all season as I have to eat up all the stuff I didn’t like in the summer that Rosalie saved ‘for later’.

I didn’t feel so good after all that food

It’s an odd time; I have so much to do but most have to wait until the last day. For instance, I can’t pack up the chairs on the deck as we still use them in the evening sometimes. All we’re able to do now is light a campfire, sit down and enjoy a glass of wine. Oh, how we suffer.

Anyway, enough whining, in a day or two from now we will be in the sunshine, heat and oppressive humidity; and loving every minute.

Food for thought

Now that Mexico has a woman president, Claudia Sheinbaum, and if Kamala Harris wins the US election, all we need now is for Justin Trudeau to step down and have Chrystia Freeland get elected as Prime Minister in Canada, and women would rule North America. Ooh! sexy! The guys at the pub suggested that they already rule the North.

If Kamala wins I can see trump planning his next campaign and trying to find out if they eat cats and dogs in Butt-Crack Alabama. This would come after months of whining, crying and yelling that the whole thing was rigged. And, after recovering from losing to not just a Democrat, but to a black woman to boot. Oh, the shame!

If women do rule the North, and we can only hope that they do, there will almost certainly be no tariffs on nail polish removers as they are essential to the well-being of half the population of North America. Steel, cars? Sure that’s a man thing, they don’t care about that.

Heaven help us if they are all wearing the same dress at a NAFTA conference. Duck and cover, WW3 is about to start.

And there’s no need to worry about a nuclear war, The President wouldn’t be pressing the big red button as her nails would get in the way. Heaven forbid that she breaks one doing so. I see a need for an official big red button pusher.

But of course, I jest; not about the trump thing, I’m serious about that. Women should rule the world like they did back a few thousand years ago. I partially read a book called “The Challis and The Blade.” Very interesting. It started to bog my tiny brain down halfway through so I had to give it up, but I got the gist and it made a lot of sense. Try it, I hope you do better than I did. And please tell me how it ended, it’s been driving me crazy.

More stuff

Apparently, it’s not me after all!

We were talking to Mike and Fern the other day who mentioned they had two friends with the same symptoms as me: shortness of breath, dizziness and high blood pressure. So my conclusion that I had a virus seems more plausible now. I did say before, that I would make a great Doctor with my diagnostic skills.

I found an amazing article about tequila that justifies us drinking it. As usual, I don’t believe anything without first verifying it, so I asked Rosalie and she said it’s true. So, there we are!

When we had Covid a few years ago, I had a cough that wouldn’t go away. After two weeks I decided to try the Mexican cure: two shots of tequila, two nights in a row and sure enough I haven’t coughed since. However, one sip of tequila, or any other liquor and I start sneezing. So there’s no chance of me sneaking a sip on the quiet as Rosalie does.

Now Rosalie has been checking out Mezcal. Apparently, it’s even healthier than tequila. We haven’t tried it but will as soon as we get back to Melaque. Mezcal is made only from three-times distilled Agave whereas tequila has some additives. One kind, Mezcal de Pechuga does have strange additives such as chicken breast, fruits, nuts and herbs. The chicken is suspended above the mix on the final distillation and drips into the mix until only the bones are left. It sounds disgusting but has a unique flavour and is more expensive than regular mezcal.

I have had a schisis (a partial retinal tear) in my eye for about fifteen years. It doesn’t affect my sight but the ophthalmologist keeps an eye on it. (Ha Ha.) When I went to the optometrist for a test to get contacts, he checked me out and immediately called a retina surgeon in Victoria to make an appointment for a consultation.

The drive was two and a half hours long and the surgeon said the same as the ophthalmologist in Nanaimo; we should keep an eye on it. It was a waste of time. I think the young optometrist in Nanaimo panicked. The day wasn’t all wasted as we had a great visit with Rosalie’s sister Marina.

It’s good to be driving again. Rosalie did a great job but I was uncomfortable hiding under the dash. She usually needs the bathroom as soon as we start driving so I tell her “You better go before we go or you will want to go after we’ve gone and won’t be able to go until we get there.”

We assume that Alan our pet squirrel has either gone on permanent vacation or passed away. His/her kids, however, are still around and have fun waking us up at 6 am by dropping green pine cones on the metal roof of the trailer. It sure makes a din.

It’s getting cooler and wetter so it must be close to Melaque time. I got out my trusty list of things that need to be done before we go. It’s quite extensive so I had better get started soon. The longer list is for our last day when we have to put the car and the trailer away for the winter. It will all get done eventually and it will be worth it once we get back to our home down there.

A Shaggy Dog story

After the party last week, the diehards were sitting and having a few last drinks when a St Bernard dog wandered in with two puppies. Only Chris and I saw two pups but everyone else saw only one. Maybe Chris and I had too much tequila but apparently, the other one had taken off home.

They both looked hungry so Laura brought a bowl of food which Mum gobbled up really fast. The pup trying to feed off Mum was whining as it wasn’t getting anything.

Chris and Laura seemed to have everything under control so we went to bed. And then the fun started. They told us the story later.

They went back to their trailer and posted a message on Facebook trying to find the owner. At one point Mum took off home and Chris followed them out of the park, until it disappeared up a neighbour’s driveway. Then he came home again thinking it was all over. After a while Mum showed up again but this time with five pups.

They herded them onto their enclosed deck and finally an owner was discovered. She asked them to hold the dogs until morning, which wasn’t going to happen as the dogs were bouncing all over the place and it was hard to keep them all together.

Eventually, the owner showed up to retrieve them. She said that there were originally eight pups but three had been sold that day. She thought maybe Mum had escaped to go look for them, dragging her whole tribe along.

Laura made the mistake of saying the dogs had looked hungry and the owner took offence, insisting that they were well looked after. They had looked hungry to us.

They were really cute pups and I think Laura would have liked to keep one but she already has a cute little Shih Tzu called Jax.

Update:

I was enjoying a cup of tea on the deck this morning when who should show up? Yes, it was Mum and four of her puppies. Mum sniffed around for a while and then took off with the herd of pups tumbling over themselves to keep up. Very cute.

Time flies

Time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like a banana.

Time is flying fast It’s Rosalie’s seventy-fifth birthday and she made the absolute best of it. First, we celebrated it at the Melaque party. She got some gifts thank you, even though we asked people not to bring any.

Then on the actual day, we had lunch at the Lanzville Pub with Peter and Suzie, Ray and Yvone, Walter and Valerie. Rosalie and I shared a bottle of wine and had an awesome meal. There were lots of laughs and everyone had a great time.

Afterwards, we dropped in to see Dave and Barb to see how Dave was recovering after his hip surgery. He must be doing well as we are taking him to the pub on Thursday.

That evening we went over to Jim and Ylda’s place and had more laughs as well as more wine and tequila. Altogether a great day.

This seems to be a bad year for fruit flies. I set up three devious traps full of apple cider vinegar and saw them drown by the dozen. However, the promiscuous little beasts must be bonking like crazy as we still had lots flying around.

So Mrs Google must have the answer. After taking care of basic things like putting food away and emptying the garbage, she suggested a spray bottle with IPA in it. I thought the idea was to get them drunk and then beat them up. But no, they meant Rubbing alcohol. Oh, too bad it sounded like fun.

Anyway, I loaded a spray bottle and prepared for the massacre. Sure enough, they died like flies. So, the next morning I got up with confidence that there would be no more left. I put on the lights and there they were sitting on the spray bottle and the edge of the traps looking bored and not in the least bit afraid. They were probably sorting out their partners for the next night and finding more ways to piss me off.

I’m not a morning person

They seem to be diminishing a bit, so maybe I’m making some headway. The sad part is that I know they will be back next year.

I seem to have trouble with small things: Spiders, Chihuahuas, fruit flies, Rosalie….