Spiders

Man, I hate spiders! I know there are a lot of people out there who think the same way I do. They are the nastiest creatures known to man (or woman). There are some people who don’t mind them…Oh, you sick fools.

I think they should be abolished. (The spiders, not the sick fools.) They have their uses I guess; eating flies and bugs and stuff but I could do that if I put my mind to it. I think they should be stomped, battered, drowned, sucked into the vacuum cleaner and generally folded, stapled and mutilated.

It’s been estimated that spiders could eat every human on earth in one year.

See! and people tell me they’re harmless. One thing’s for sure, after watching the video attached to the article I sure as heck ain’t going to Australia. And to think that there are about 130 within one metre of us and there are almost three million for every man woman and child on the planet. I don’t want mine, I think I’ll give them away.

When I thought I saw a gecko in Mexico and it turned out to be just a scorpion, I was relieved that it wasn’t a spider. Although they have tarantulas In Colorado that migrate in the millions, they don’t seem to scare me so much. Perhaps it’s because they appear slower and don’t bound around like some spiders do. (Oops, just read that they can travel quite fast.)

When I was a lot younger and installing alarm systems, I was at a home that had a pet tarantula. It was kept in an aquarium where it sat and munched on grasshoppers all-day. I was quite fascinated by it. It didn’t move much and seemed very docile.

The following day I checked on the critter and the aquarium was empty. The owner said he didn’t know where it was but to be careful where I trod. You’re darn right I was careful. I finished that job really fast and got the heck out of there. In an aquarium is one thing, running loose, quite another.

I’m somewhat prejudiced as I’ve been bitten three times by the nasty things. The last time was the worst and took a lot of meds and time to heal.

Notice that I demurely covered my boob

I even woke one morning with one in the bed. I had rolled over and squshed it. It had bitten me and there was a lot of silk where he tried to wrap me up and take me home for the kids. True story. I was told by the doctor at the hospital that spiders don’t bite??? He may be a doctor but he ain’t that smart.

I was taking some wood from the pile earlier today and underneath was a huge wolf spider. In my arachnophobic mind, it was about two feet across. When I had calmed down and stopped screaming, I realized it was a mere three inches from toe to toe. It was still one of the biggest I’ve ever seen. I’m not going near the woodpile for a while….maybe I’ll send Rosalie, she braver than me.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Spiders”

  1. I’m with you Chris, I don’t like spiders either – we’ve had a couple of huge ones lately I guess coming in out of the cold., Bill is really good with his shoe but as much as I don’t like them I don’t want to kill them either – it looks like you got quite a reaction to the bite ……

    Like

  2. OMG. Google “pacific dock spiders”. Yep, one dropped from the roof of our boat — right – down – my – hoodie. Right into my bare skin. I barely lived, thanks to the bravery of my daughter. Spiders are no freaking joke.

    Like

  3. I’ll see your tiny spider bite and raise your bet by my gigantic insect bite that was likely a black centipede bite. The result was a blistering, weeping, hot, raging raw wound about 6″ wide by 10″ long on the back of my left knee. I don’t know what was worse…the itching or the excruciating pain. It was awful and took 5 weeks & strong steroids to get under control & now, two months later, is still a giant red patch on the back of my left knee. And FYI….wolf spiders are big & ugly but won’t bite you. Call me if you need me to come & kill one for you. LOL! Love, Margie

    On Wed., Sep. 25, 2019, 5:47 p.m. Aged but not deceased, wrote:

    > Paddington98 posted: “Man, I hate spiders! I know there are a lot of > people out there who think the same way I do. They are the nastiest > creatures known to man (or woman). There are some people who don’t mind > them…Oh, you sick fools. I think they should be abolished. (The” >

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.