Month: September 2019

Man, I hate spiders! I know there are a lot of people out there who think the same way I do. They are the nastiest creatures known to man (or woman). There are some people who don’t mind them…Oh, you sick fools.

I think they should be abolished. (The spiders, not the sick fools.) They have their uses I guess; eating flies and bugs and stuff but I could do that if I put my mind to it. I think they should be stomped, battered, drowned, sucked into the vacuum cleaner and generally folded, stapled and mutilated.

It’s been estimated that spiders could eat every human on earth in one year.

See! and people tell me they’re harmless. One thing’s for sure, after watching the video attached to the article I sure as heck ain’t going to Australia. And to think that there are about 130 within one metre of us and there are almost three million for every man woman and child on the planet. I don’t want mine, I think I’ll give them away.

When I thought I saw a gecko in Mexico and it turned out to be just a scorpion, I was relieved that it wasn’t a spider. Although they have tarantulas In Colorado that migrate in the millions, they don’t seem to scare me so much. Perhaps it’s because they appear slower and don’t bound around like some spiders do. (Oops, just read that they can travel quite fast.)

When I was a lot younger and installing alarm systems, I was at a home that had a pet tarantula. It was kept in an aquarium where it sat and munched on grasshoppers all-day. I was quite fascinated by it. It didn’t move much and seemed very docile.

The following day I checked on the critter and the aquarium was empty. The owner said he didn’t know where it was but to be careful where I trod. You’re darn right I was careful. I finished that job really fast and got the heck out of there. In an aquarium is one thing, running loose, quite another.

I’m somewhat prejudiced as I’ve been bitten three times by the nasty things. The last time was the worst and took a lot of meds and time to heal.

Notice that I demurely covered my boob

I even woke one morning with one in the bed. I had rolled over and squshed it. It had bitten me and there was a lot of silk where he tried to wrap me up and take me home for the kids. True story. I was told by the doctor at the hospital that spiders don’t bite??? He may be a doctor but he ain’t that smart.

I was taking some wood from the pile earlier today and underneath was a huge wolf spider. In my arachnophobic mind, it was about two feet across. When I had calmed down and stopped screaming, I realized it was a mere three inches from toe to toe. It was still one of the biggest I’ve ever seen. I’m not going near the woodpile for a while….maybe I’ll send Rosalie, she braver than me.

It can be done, I’ve proved it. When the Doc said to cut back on my wine intake I decided to quit altogether for a while. The guys at Beer Day can take a breath now, I don’t plan on being reckless enough to quit that little pleasure. Besides, I couldn’t take the humiliation.

Me when the Doc said to stop drinking and lose weight.

I stopped drinking last Friday (stands up put a hand in the air and declares “I have been sober for four days. Sits down to a round of applause.) I did have a shot of Glayva but that was Rosalie’s fault for getting it out of the cupboard.

I find that it’s been just a habit. After doing a few chores it was time for a glass of wine. Nothing wrong with that. Except, that one leads to two etc. It’s what we retirees do. I didn’t notice much change after the shakes and hallucinations went away. (I kind of miss them, they were fun.)

In the last few days, we have been analyzing our new lifestyle. We do this quite often to see if we are both on track with the idea. I think Rosalie wanted to wait until I was sober. (seriously I’m not that bad.)

We live outside most of the time. Even when it’s raining we just snuggle up in the gazebo with the fire alight, watch a movie and fall asleep. Often we just listen. It’s so quiet you can hear if Alan/Ellen drops his/her nuts. Also, if we go outside on a clear night the stars are spectacular. And of course, there were the robins which gave us a lot of fun for a few weeks. We decided we like it here and don’t want to live anywhere else except Mexico.

I’m so looking forward to seeing this again.

I’m sure most people think we’re mad, which we are but for different reasons. Perhaps we look at them the same way, each to his own. We don’t want to get stuck into a lifestyle we’re not happy with just because everybody else thinks we should. I think we are just a pair of old hippies at heart.

The weather has started to change, it’s more long pants than shorts these days. Even so, I’m outside writing this and Rosalie is sitting at the table working out the documents for our Mexican visa application.

When we decided to try this at the beginning of last year we were a bit apprehensive, but we both think it turned out better than expected. Rosalie was worried about living at the trailer for six months and I was concerned about living in Mexico. We were both surprised that it all worked out fine.

Our condo hasn’t sold yet, but so what? We aren’t in a hurry and there’s always next year.

Now, if only we could sell our excess furniture we would have a bit more room to move around.