Month: July 2022

After the blog about phone technology, I had to get into computer technology.

I use Questrade for all our investment needs and they have a great desktop app called IQ Edge. The problem is that it was designed for Windows computers, not MacBooks. It runs fairly well on a Mac but has a few issues I ran into a few times.

Most apps can’t be moved above the top edge of the screen; not so with Edge. While in Mexico I pushed it up above the top and had a heck of a time getting it back again. The menu bar is at the top so how was I supposed to use it? I prayed to the great Google in the sky with no results. After the usual incantations containing many expletives, I finally figured it out.

A few weeks ago I ran into the same problem again; this time I wasn’t so lucky in resolving the problem. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember how I solved the problem last time. There was a reminder note somewhere that chose not to be found. I sent an email to Questrade and received a prompt reply asking all the usual questions like: did I reboot, did I close it out properly, is the screen clean, are you seeing things, are you stupid, etc, etc. I had already done all this as well as reinstalling the darn thing to no avail.

There were several more emails back and forth but I think they were as stumped as I was. I even threatened to pull our account and go back to BMO. Eventually, they sent me the number of their Techie department. I knew they couldn’t lose a big account like ours ( yeah right.) I, however, could see this problem continuing so I came up with my own solution.

I contemplated returning to BMO but it would have cost a lot more in the long run. Also, I remembered the hassles I had with them before, and I think the problem was with my computer and not their end.

So what did I do? I went out and bought another computer on Facebook Marketplace. It was an Asus with a 15 1/2″ screen and a solid-state hard drive. Nice! The guy selling it looked very respectable so I made him an offer that he promptly refused. (If only he owned a horse. Godfather part one.) The only drawback was that it only worked while plugged in. That was not an issue so I coughed up the money and went home.

There was a problem setting up the WiFi as our password was hiding somewhere. I eventually found it, downloaded the app, installed it and held my breath. It worked perfectly! I was so excited that I logged in and made yet another bad investment.

Back in the day, Rosalie was a member of Beta Sigma Phi, an international women’s social and cultural organization. (Started by a man in the 1930’s.) They met twice a month in the winter and did mysterious things that we guys weren’t allowed to know about. We did hear a rumour about sacrificing goats and giving drugged guys really weird haircuts and such but we never managed to verify that.

One of the guys, I don’t know who, suggested that we men form our own fraternity and call it the F.O.O.L.S. The “fraternal order of old lousy shits.” Our goal, while the girls were doing their weird rituals, was to provide entertainment once a year, for the women of the sorority.

Of course, we had to have meetings while the ladies had theirs but we were smart enough to have ours in a pub. The idea of these meetings was to come up with some kind of entertainment as a surprise for the ladies. This was not an easy task and it took many meetings (in the pub) to come up with a suitable idea. This idea usually became clear the week before we were supposed to pull it off.

First, we had to elect a president as a patsy to do all the running around and make phone calls. You had to be an idiot to take this position and I had it several years, along with Gordie.

We did things like BBQs and trips to restaurants. One of our best trips was to Port Alberni with a ride on the train to the Mclean Mill where we had a tour of this historic site and a special lunch of barbequed planked salmon, cooked over an open wood fire, provided by the local native community. I’m proud to say that this was one of my ideas. We did the trip a second time to the winery but it wasn’t as much fun as the first time.

We also did a few camping weekends; several people had RVs so this was a lot of fun. One of the more memorable days was when we were supposed to spend the day on Newcastle island and have a picnic and BBQ. Unfortunately, it poured down so Gordie, whom I suspect was president that year, had us all back to his and Janice’s house and it saved the day. Gordie and Janice also had us all go down to Lake Cowichan for a day at their cabin. We ended the evening firing off our potato guns over the lake.

Most of the things we did for the ladies were supposed to be a surprise and we didn’t want them to know until the last minute but some hen-pecked hubby usually succumbed to the pressure (me) and blurted out what we were doing.

It was so successful that we got mentioned in the Beta Sigma Phi International newsletter; although we were referred to as the Fraternity of old lousy spouses. The sorority chapter contributed a little money to help with the costs but we FOOLS took up the slack and coughed up the rest. As with all good things, it eventually came to an end and all we are left with are some great memories.

This blog is dedicated to Al Blackley who left us too soon.

The Melaque party started out small and has grown quite a bit. It was initially only for our friends who had been to Melaque. Maybe eight or ten people. Then, over the last few years, we met more friends who had been there and the party grew a little. I started feeling bad about all our friends and family who were missing such fun and eventually if you even knew where Mexico was, you qualified to come. Then, of course, you can’t leave the neighbours out. This year there were invites for over fifty people and about 29 people were here.

I was up early on Saturday morning to start getting things ready. I had already borrowed all the neighbour’s tables and chairs so all I had to do was arrange them so we all had somewhere to sit. Then Rosalie put the table clothes on while I set up the Taqueria.

The party was supposed to start at 3 pm but we had asked Peter and Suzie to come earlier for a visit. They arrived on time and then Gordie and Karen showed up, and people kept coming early. We started as a small group chatting and way before 3 pm we were a large party chatting. And so it began.

Everyone was here on time so Peter and I opened the Taqueria at about 5 pm and we started serving at about 5:45. Peter was the server and I did the cooking. I lagged a bit with the tortillas and should have had a bunch ready beforehand. But I didn’t, and we survived. We put a tip jar up and primed it with all sorts of peso notes, including a 500; all we got was a bottle cap, a wrapped candy and a toonie. I also think one of the 500 peso notes is missing.

The beef almost ran out but a lot of chicken was left. Our roasted onions weren’t as big a hit as last year but the tacos were well received. When the last one was finally served I thankfully sat and enjoyed a taco myself.

It was my birthday a month ago and I got a couple of belated birthday presents. Both were very practical. The first was a coffee mug from Gordie and Karen with a lovely inscription. The second was a sippy cup from john and Lesley for my wine so I don’t keep spilling it on my laptop. Also lovingly inscribed, this time with my initials.

I found that I had more time to mingle this year and actually found a few people who would speak to me. And then, even after praying all week that it wouldn’t, it started to rain! Luckily it only lasted a few seconds and then stopped.

We didn’t set the Jenga game up ahead of time this year. I think it was because we didn’t have as much room as usual. I did offer to set it up later but the enthusiasm was gone so I didn’t do it. Perhaps next time.

It was an early end and not many people stayed after about 8:30. Some had to drive home and preferred to do it in the daylight. We didn’t have so many die-hards as usual and I think I saved a bit of tequila because of it. Linda and Art were the last to leave and we sat chatting with them for a while. The cleanup waited until next morning, although we did bring in all the booze.

I was up and at it at about 8:30 am the next day and had the whole place cleaned up by 10:00, tables and chairs returned to their rightful owners, glasses and cups rounded up and taken in, taqueria dismantled and put away for another year, banners taken down and the yard raked. I didn’t find any stray people sleeping under the bushes, but I think we’re getting a bit too old for that. Rosalie had to do the dishes so she had a bit more of the work than I. We had several visitors during the day so that gave us the incentive to do nothing for a while.

All in all a great party and we look forward to doing it again next year. Or, perhaps we can have a Qualicum party in Melaque!

With the day of the Melaque party fast approaching, Rosalie had trouble finding suitable tortillas. She searched high and low…she said! Seeing as how it is my Taqueria I decided that we should make our own. Oh boy!

There were lots of recipes and we tried several. Rosalie took on the flour ones and I the maize. We mixed the dough as per instructions cut it into small pieces and put it in the tortilla press, yes, I have one of those. The dough made beautiful little tortillas, perfect for tacos…and then they started to shrink and grow thick. I don’t know why this occurs but the same thing happens when I’m making perogies. I even tried refrigerating them before pressing them but that didn’t work either.

The corn ones didn’t shrink. So, I rushed them to the griddle and cooked one up. It was okay but it broke apart really easily as corn tortillas tend to do. So we abandoned the homemade idea and went on a tortilla hunt.

We drove to several grocery stores in Parksville before we found what we were looking for at Thrifty’s. I grabbed an arm full and after picking up a new propane tank at Canadian Tire to cook them with, we flew home feeling relieved that we had something to feed our guests.

The weather doesn’t look too bad for the day but the days before are nasty so it’s holding up preparations. The food can mostly be done ahead of time but the setup will have to be done on Friday and Saturday morning.

The setup involves me sneaking around to the neighbours and stealing borrowing chairs, tables, umbrellas and anything else I can lay my hands on that will be useful. Then I have to arrange all the said tables and chairs several times until Rosalie is satisfied. I’m sure that in the last two years they ended up exactly where I had them the first time. Ah, but it just wouldn’t be the same without the wife supervising and making things ‘better’.

I don’t know why I put us through it. We end up with a bit of a hangover, a yard full of discarded cans and bottles, and a whole lot of chairs and tables that have to be snuck back to the neighbours before they find out they’re missing and report me to the authorities. And of course, there is always that one guy who sneaks into the garden to steal carrots and passes out in the beet patch. Oh, wait, that was me.

It’s all worth it though just to see all our friends and have some fun. Last year we had the die-hards who sat around with us drinking tequila until goodness knows when. It’s the fun times like these that keep us going.

Rosalie was checking our online bank account and found the format wasn’t quite the same; she couldn’t find her usual stuff. Not the money though, as little as it is, she managed to find that. Does that seem like a familiar scenario though? Every time we get used to an online program it seems to change, and not necessarily for the better. I think that there is a whole bunch of geeks out there, working to improve things and don’t know when they’ve achieved their goal.

Or, perhaps they do! Of course, they have to try and justify their jobs and they walk a fine line between incompetence and brilliance. If they come up with a great idea to save the general public time and money then they are jeopardizing their own existence, because then, they may not be needed anymore. If the program is so bad that a lot of complaints are generated then they could still lose their jobs.

I envision these guys and gals sitting in a darkened room in the basement smoking weed and plotting what to screw the public up with next. The major theme is “Let’s do an upgrade to make things appear to be better. If anyone complains we can put it down to them, not having the technical ability to understand it and they are the stupid ones.”

We’re not stupid but have to phone in any way to find someone to help us sort the whole mess out. After a 50-minute wait, we get some guy with a lovely East Indian accent that no one but we Brits can understand. He, of course, is a buddy of the geeks in the basement smoking weed and knows that his job is on the line too.

After proving who we are, by giving this complete stranger all our personal information we finally get to explain our problem. Then we are put on hold for several minutes while they check things out. Several minutes stretch into fifteen and they arrive back with no further information. “Sorry, I’m not able to help you with this I will have to transfer you to our Complaints Department.” Click!

Another fifty minutes go by and another guy, this time with an Eastern European accent (I think to intimidate us) asks again for all our personal information. (I can hear him taking notes so that in a few weeks my MasterCard will again be compromised.) This may be a coincidence, but who knows.

After two and a half hours we find out that our payment of $12 for our Netflix account was good after all.

Me at the end of the call

Oh! my new Master Card will be here in 5 to 10 days. Unfortunately, I have to phone in to authenticate it.