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I’ve waited three months but have finally bought a hammock. Rosalie wasn’t interested because she has trouble getting in and out of them. She would end up on her hands and knees with her butt in the air looking totally undignified.

We were at the local market, one block from us when the salesman from the local hamaca company caught me in a weak moment. He offered us a double one for $550 pesos. I beat him down to $500 pesos (about $35.) He caved in and walked away with a big grin on his face.

I knew we had been had when we went back to the market later to buy rope to hang the thing. The salesman gave both Rosalie and me a big hug. I think he had just won Turista Rip-off of the Month award as well as the Salesman of the Month. He was a nice guy, I think he could be our friend. Mind you, if I see him selling hamacas on the beach I may kick sand over him.

The thing about this is that Rosalie said I could have the hamaca if she could buy yet more earrings. Outmaneuvered again! I don’t think it’s fair though that she now gets to use the hamaca but I don’t get to wear the earrings

I wanted to rush home and hang the hamaca but didn’t have any rope; back to the market. We did find some but it was inferior quality and we only insist on the best (?). besides, it would have broken if we used it,

I hopped on my trusty bike and rode to “Materiales Pollo” our local hardware store. When I first saw this place I thought they sold accessories for chickens. Having looked up the word for rope “cuerda” on google translate ahead of time, I went to the counter and inquired “?Tienes cuerda?” She had no idea what I was talking about! It turns out that the correct word for rope was “soga.”

Eventually, I bought ten metres of sturdy ‘soga’ and rode home. I also bought 2 carabiners and the whole thing cost $150 pesos (about $11.)

Having got the thing up and running, with eight meters of rope to spare, I settled back for a quiet afternoon of relaxation. Soon though, Rosalie was looking covetously at the hamaca. There was a corner that would fit her perfectly, so like the fool I was I invited her in. As you can see she took more than a corner.

 

Within a few minutes, I had legs draped all over me. In normal circumstances this is a good thing but when I want to relax…not so much. I eventually gave in and put my book down. We started to talk. After a while, we realized that we were doing what we had done in the hot tub and around the campfire. We were solving not only the problems of the world but our own as well. This hamaca thing could be fun for us both after all.

 

Rosalie gave us a bit of a scare when she went to the doctor for a follow-up. Dra. Rosa (Dra. because female doctors are referred to as Doctora) gave her an ultrasound, yes, right there in the office. She found an anomaly on Rosalie’s pancreas and it sent us in a bit of a tizzy. So an appointment was made to go to the hospital in Manzanillo.

Now, this is the interesting bit. The appointment was made on Monday for Tuesday morning. Quick Huh! Bill and Connie were good enough to drive us down so we got there at 10 am for the appointment. The place was really busy so we had to wait an hour. They like you to pay in advance and we were surprised to find that it only cost $37 Canadian.

After the procedure, we had to wait an hour for the report so we took Bill and Connie for lunch. When we got back to the hospital we picked up a package with all the relevant photos as well as an extensive written report.

When we arrived back in Melaque we went immediately to see Dra. Rosa. Down here you just drop in, no appointment necessary. She read the report and gave us the news that it wasn’t Rosalie’s pancreas but a bit of fattiness on her liver; easily curable with diet. Phew, what a relief.

Well, it is a relief until I find out that my future diet will be fruit and veggies. I’m not amused. I will go along not only in support but because I need to lose a bit of weight anyway. The one good thing is that while Rosalie can’t have any alcohol for a while, I can. So when it’s hot and we return from the grocery store all hot and sweaty, I can taunt her with a nice, ice cold cerveza.

We got through the holidays but only just.

On New Years Eve we were going to ‘Jacks’ for dinner and entertainment. We had booked a table for eight but only three made it. Although Barb and Dave did arrive later. Their flight had been delayed for twenty four hours. Our neighbours went out with family and Rosalie was down with a mild case of Dengue fever.

It was good night though. We watched the show and then went back to our place for a drink. Bill and Connie had gone elsewhere for a while and joined us later. Rosalie had bought a dozen Globos for the new year so the six of us set off for the beach. She was still too sick to come so stayed at home.

When we got to the beach Bill and I tried to get the globos to launch but I wasn’t in the mood as I was worried about my honey. We destroyed two and went back to Bill and Connie’s to see in the new year and watch the fireworks. We shouldn’t be lighting globos as they’re bad for the local marine life, so we won’t get any next year.

At midnight the fireworks were spectacular. It’s a 360 degree event as most of them are set off by individuals and they were all around us. I still had ten globos left so decided to give them to the Mexicans on the beach. Globos are thin paper bags about three feet high. They have a wax square underneath which we light and the heat fills the bag and they eventually take off. That is unless it’s me trying to light the thing.

We tried to get to the beach but Bill couldn’t get the gate unlocked. Not to be defeated, I yelled through the bars “Quieres globos” (do you want globos.) A young girl of about eight came bounding up the beach with a big grin yelling “i, si” followed hotly by her Dad. I gave them the globos and they went back to their party.

A little while later Bill managed to unlock the gate and we poured out onto the sand. We were greeted by lots of Mexicans wishing us “feliz ano” and shaking our hands. I looked for the little girl to see how they were doing with the globos and she came running up the beach and gave be a bit hug. That was the highlight of my night.

It was past 1 am by this time so Dave and Barb ordered a taxi and I walked home anticipating fun and games for next year.

 

Now that winter is almost here, it was 21 c this morning, I need something to keep me occupied through the long dark nights. (Besides Rosalie.) So I have decided to improve on my Spanish.

Most people already speak Spanish down here funnily enough, so if I want to be understood I will have to make an effort to communicate with them. We did hear of a lady complaining that she had been coming here for ten years and they, the local population, still hadn’t learned to speak English.

Rosalie speaks Spanish well enough to get me out of most trouble. While buying our bikes I said something to the store owner and he thought I spoke Spanish.  I quickly pointed him in Rosalie’s direction and they had quite the chat. Now he waves when he sees us go by on our bikes.

Like the bike shop owner, people seem to appreciate it when you try to speak their language. We were in our local restaurant for drinks one day. This is where we exchange ideas about the language with the help of Google Translate. Rosalie ordered a Lemonada and I ordered a ‘Ron y Coca’. While waiting for it we asked the waiter to clarify something in Spanish. I also mentioned that we were trying to learn his language. His face lit up and I got the best R & C I’d had in a long time.

I try to use Spanish whenever possible. It can be a bit of a challenge if Rosalie isn’t there to help but I think I know the basics and am learning to build from there.

I use short sentences that are personal to me. As an example, when we go the market there is a guy who often asks me to buy a t-shirt (playera.) So I came up with this: “Mi esposa no dice mas playera.” (My wife says no more t-shirts.) When I first said it to him he cracked up and I get a smile every time I see him now. I’ve used it in a lot of situations and Rosalie’s starting to look like a nag.

I do know quite a bit of Spanish and use it all the time. The only problem is when Mexicans speak back I can pick out some words but can’t seem to put it all together. I do have some successes though and it gives me encouragement to try again; and again, make a fool of myself.

It’s very satisfying when you speak to someone and they know what you said and they answer and you know what they said. I usually walk away with a stupid grin on my face.

Rosalie gets complimented on her Spanish by Mexicans quite frequently. One day our beer order hadn’t arrived as expected so we went up to the store to see what had happened. Like me, Rosalie puts together a sentence in her head before saying anything. Before I could open my mouth, she came out with a perfect Spanish explanation of why we were there. The guy got us sorted out and away we went home. She was very proud of herself. It was only when we got there that I told her that the guy speaks good English.

I know my numbers but don’t hear them well. I have to work on that. When we first came down here we were told to be careful ordering ‘dos cerveza’ as it’s easy to say ‘doce cerveza’ and you would end up with 12 beer instead of two. Personally, I don’t have a problem with that.

 

Someone mentioned a concert at one of our local restaurants. Well, local if you live at the far end of town. Paco Renteria was reputed to be really good so we paid the 150 peso cover charge each, and booked a table.

We asked Mike and Fay and Glenn and Cheryl to come along and they said they would love to. Glenn and Cheryl’s lodgings are close to the event so it was up to the rest of us to get to the other end of town. I always swore I would taxi it but we ended up walking anyway. We will though, take a taxi back.

It’s about a half hour walk, so by the time we got there, it was time for a beer. Yea right! We had our concert tickets but there was a lineup. Wondering what this was about, remember we had tickets, we asked the young lady who seemed to be in charge. She took our tickets and told us the line up was for more tickets to get booze.

We finally persuaded her to let some of us go to our table. The rest of us (the guys) waited patiently for our booze tickets. Somewhere in all this, the young lady told us that we only had five tickets, not six. She had obviously lost one. This being Mexico she finally said “fine” and let us order. There was a great debate as to whether it was best to get a bottle of wine for 280 pesos of individual glasses at 45 pesos.

Having finally got our tickets and hence our booze we went to our table. Shortly after, we learned that we should have gotten our ticket for dinner at the same time as our booze tickets. Back to the lineup.

 

There were a lot of people there that we knew including Mike and Pat and Barry and Anna who were at the next table. So a lot of visiting was done. This was just as well as Paco showed up an hour and a half late. Our dinner also took a long time to get there, I think Paco brought it with him. The food was really good and soon the entertainment started.

 

Paco Renteria is a passionate guitarist and also very loud. His backup band was excellent and most of us had a good time.

As the evening wound down, people started to drift toward the exit. We needed a taxi so we asked one of the young ladies about one. She told us that a bunch had been ordered and we should wait for about five minutes. Ten minutes later we started to walk. We didn’t pass a single taxi on the way back so ended up walking all the way home, again.

 

Again, sitting on our front patio minding our own business, when someone stops by and asks Rosalie if she is Giselle’s sister. Enter John and Anne.

We were having a nice introductory chat when I noticed a police car cruise slowly by and stop on the corner. I guessed what was coming and grabbed my camera. 

Sure enough a few minutes later a parade started down our street. There were girls doing a traditional Mexican dance leading the way so I tried to turn on my camera to record it. The battery was dead! I rushed in to get a fresh one but by the time I returned the dance was over. Drat!

The rest of the parade was worth it though. I’m not sure how this works but I hear these bands playing day and night accompanied by the loud bang of fireworks. The guy setting these off walked at the rear of the procession and set the rockets off by hand. It seems as though the parade starts at about 6 am until about 8 am and then start again in the evening.

For the last twelve days, we are woken every day at 6am by the very loud bang of these rockets. (and the f…ing rooster.) It’s been decreasing in the last few days as I think the holiday ends on the 12th of December. (I wish it would end for the rooster>)

On the 12th, we were woken in the morning by a regular barrage of explosions. Perhaps this is the last of it; until Christmas and the New Year that is. (On the 13th all was quiet except for you know who.)

I went downstairs to put the kettle on and found that we were out of Propane. I went to open the front door to let in the morning breeze and look for the gas dude and found that we were locked in.  This had happened a few times before and the local locksmith had supposedly fixed it. I personally didn’t think what he did would help and I was proven to be right. The problem was that we couldn’t order propane until the door was unlocked.

Rubi, the young lady who cleans the place came by and got our key through the bars in the window, and wouldn’t you know it, she unlocked the door from outside. When the locksmith arrived, he couldn’t find a thing wrong and just couldn’t get the lock to act up again. He did tell us that the lock was from Home Depot and that he wasn’t impressed with it. So we have asked the landlady to get us a new locking system. She will be here with the new lock on Friday so I hope the old one works until then.

Whoa! The letter we sent from home on October 12th arrived on December 12th. Exactly two months later. Awesome!

Rosalie wanted to have someone over for dinner so we invited Glenn and Cheryl who are in Melaque for the first time; and Mike and Faye whom we’ve known a few years here.

We had a great evening. Rosalie as always did a nice meal. We ended up playing the same dice game that we had learned in PV from Giselle and Gordon.

The following day Rosalie wanted to have more people over as she still had fresh ingredients left from the previous night’s dinner.

We invited our neighbours Gerry and Elaine and Elaine’s brother Hugh and his partner Lori. Again we had a great meal. After dinner Rosalie and I wanted to play dice again but no one else did. Instead, Lori had brought along her guitar and started to entertain us. She was very good and we are trying to encourage her to try open mike.

I have been trying to relearn the guitar for a few years but got discouraged so, I haven’t played for a while. Watching how Laurie played though gave me a lot of encouragement. She played the basic cords, nothing fancy, no twiddly bits, just good rhythm guitar. I realised that I had been trying way too hard. So, when I get back to Canada I’ll bring out the guitar and try again.

Both parties were a great success. we ran out of Tequila but other than that we had a great time. So goes life in Melaque. I love to watch my Hockey games while down here but have missed the last three because of ‘social engagements’. Life’s tough!

Because we enjoyed riding the rented bikes so much we decided to try to buy a couple of used ones. There are a number of bike repair places but the prices seemed a bit high. As we were sitting on the beach having a few beers when we decided to buy a couple of new ones. We had seen some earlier and the prices were only a little more than the used ones.

When we go to the store, we did a bit of  hemming and hawing and finaly selected a couple. “Okay,” says I “now we can dicker,” Buying two new bikes should get us a nice discount. However, the shop owner didn’t think so and only offered us $100 pesos ($6.50) off of the price. We wanted the bikes so bit the bullet.

The bikes are more practical than fun. We like to walk uptown, but often have to carry groceries back, so both bikes have carriers front and back. I wanted a mountain bike but Rosalie wouldn’t let me have one.

We thought we would be running up a bill with accessories. Locks were needed so we bought a couple. These are heavy duty cable locks that sell for $20 -$30 in Canada but we got them for 75 pesos (about $5).

The bikes had to be assembled so we had to pick them up the next morning after 10 am. We got to the store at 10:30 but it was still closed. As we were about to walk away the shutters went up and we got our bikes.

As soon as we started up the road Rosalie stopped. She tried to start again but said that the pedals wouldn’t turn. I checked and found that it was in the wrong gear. Boy, she has a lot to learn yet.

That afternoon I noticed Rosalie’s tire was flat so I borrowed a pump and re-inflated it but it soon went down again. Meanwhile, my right brake lever snapped. Back to the store,  They were busy so we had to come back in an hour.

To kill time we went to the bank and then ordered our two cases of beer for delivery. Still having time to kill we wandered down to the beach for a beer. Having ordered we drank and listened to the waves crashing on the shore.

Once back at back at the store, we found that everything had been fixed. We had ordered two kickstands, these had been installed for a cost of 110 pesos (about $8).

 

Rosalie’s sister Giselle and her husband Gordie were in PV for a destination wedding, so we decided to go and visit them for the weekend. We were told that I would need long pants so we hustled around Melaque trying to find some. I finally borrowed some from a friend.

When we bought our bus tickets a few days earlier in Melaque, the lady selling tickets probably didn’t like us as she refused to give us the senior rate. So we only got one-way tickets and did get the senior rate from Puerto Vallarta for our return.

The trip takes about 4 1/2 hours on a first class bus. We are given a snack as well as a drink to see us through. There is an entertainment system with individual screens for each seat. We didn’t use it though as it’s hard to find a movie with subtitles.

There are also bathrooms on the bus. I’m sure they are there for entertainment purposes. As the bus hurtles around the tight mountain roads, the object is to get to the bathroom without ending up on someone’s lap. Once in the restroom, even the men have to sit down or there could be a nasty mess.

We arrived safely at the PV bus depot and hopped a taxi to the hotel. This was the first time we had stayed in an all-inclusive so we were curious as to what to expect. We met up with Gordie and Giselle and while we waited to check in, Giselle ran and got me a cerveza and Rosalie a Paloma. I was beginning to enjoy this place.

We got a lovely room with a view and a balcony, then went to find some late lunch as we hadn’t eaten for a while. We also had to have a few cervezas to start the party off. 

That evening there was a floor show with dancing girls and the whole deal. It was quite good and we had good seats that Gordie had scouted out for us.

The following day we went downtown for a walk along the Malecon. Gordie decided he needed a pedicure so he went walking with the fishes. 

Gordie and Giselle

That night there was another floor show but this was more tuned to the kids. We watched part of it then had an early night.

The following day we took a walk to check out the local shops. In the afternoon back at the hotel, we got a table, a couple of cervezas and played a fun dice game Giselle had brought.

We wanted to have a nice last dinner before we left, so we had to dress up. Turns out I didn’t need the long pants after all but had to wear closed-toe shoes (my runners) and a short-sleeved shirt. They let me in, so all was well.

That evening was Karaoke we saw a few acts (horrible) and called it a night again.

In the morning we said our goodbyes and Rosalie and I grabbed a taxi to the bus depot. We were feeling a bit hungry so we got a burger and shared it. On the way, on the bus, I started feeling terrible. Luckily we had some Gravol with us and that got me through. There is a bit of a bug going around so it was probably that. But, isn’t that what everyone says…?!

“I always get to where I’m going by walking away from where I’ve been”

Winnie The Poo