Topes

I’ve mentioned before that there are these evil little devices in Mexico called topes. Unfortunately, they have their uses. In Canada, we call them speed bumps. In the small towns on the highway, they are essential. The speed limit though is usually 40 km an hour but as I’ve said before, this is only a suggestion.

There are various types of topes. Some are small and rattle your teeth and some are large and, if going at the correct speed the larger ones are quite pleasant. However, you don’t want to hit one at speed, as you will be launched into the air and come down with an almighty crash. Venders often stand at the side of the road where they are, because everyone has to slow right down and it’s a great opportunity for them trying to sell something.

They do have signs warning you that one is either about to come up, 200 metres ahead or that you have just passed one and will land soon. There are only signs on the highway but not in town. Then there are ones made by laying a three-inch rope across the road, they are very nasty.

There are some on Isla De Navidad that are especially bad. They consist of rows of concrete squares, that rattle your teeth no matter how slow you go. Before you cross them it’s recommended that you take out any false teeth and tighten bra straps.

Someone who makes the decisions on these things decided to paint the larger ones on the highway with yellow stripes. Eventually, of course, the paint wears off so that you can’t see them until you hit them. I think camouflaging and the location of the topes is a college course. Most, we find, are in the shade of trees so that they can’t be seen until the last moment. Others are the same shade of black as the road. The best time is at night because they cast a shadow in your headlights that’s easy to see.

The unofficial inverted topes (potholes,) are everywhere, and these are not small holes in the road some are craters. It’s surprising that there is enough asphalt to make topes but not enough to fill the potholes. They have been filling some lately but rely on the traffic to flatten them out, so now we have mini topes all over the place.

Even though I know where most of the local ones are I still manage to hit them occasionally. A while back I hit one so hard that the jarring really hurt my back. I noticed when I got home though that my back felt better than it had done for quite some time. I’m going to take people with sore backs out for a ride and charge them for my chiropractic services.

When in a strange location where I don’t know where they are, I try to follow another car to see when they pass over one. It’s fun to see the motorcycles go over them as they rarely slow down. If they have a passenger you often see them lift several feet off the seat, and that’s not an exaggeration.

What we need down here now are a few roundabouts; that should cause a little more confusion.