Root vs Rowt.

I was lamenting the fact that one of our great English words has, because of the internet, slid into Americanism. The word route has always been pronounced “root” there should be no other way. I’m surprised they didn’t drop the ‘u’ and slide us still further into anarchy. As for dropping the U in Colour, well for goodness sakes what’s with that. Thru, what the heck is thru? It’s through everyone knows that.

Then one day I was humming a little tune to myself. I would have sung out loud but the complaints last time were crazy. I suddenly realized that the song was incorrect American language. The little ditty was “Route 66” and in the song, it’s pronounced “Root 66.” I started to get excited realizing that if I could find more words like this I could turn the whole American crazy-assed way of saying and spelling stuff, upside down.

When I first came to Canada in 1969 I had to learn a new language. Not so much a language but a lot of new words. Later as my kids got a bit older one of them was tasked at school with writing as many English words together with their Canadian equivalent. There were literally hundreds. Although many American and Canadian words are similar they are not always the same. And don’t get me started on adding French into the mix.

I was at GM in Buffalo NY talking to the project manager there who happened to be a woman. We wanted security on a cabinet and she told me we could put a ‘lauke’ on it???? I turned to my buddy, a Canadian who looked as baffled as I did. We finally figured out that she meant a lock.

It’s not just the Americas though, it’s as bad in England. You can’t go from one town to the next without Google Translate. You can ask for a dinner roll in one town, a bun in another, a cob in yet another etc, etc.

I once called Tyneside in Northern England regarding my British pension. I had a clear phone line but didn’t understand the operator at all. The Northern England accents are very hard to understand for a Southerner like me but I should have got it. I stalled and finally, my brain clicked in and I could communicate once again. This happened twice. Also, If you ever go to the East End of London, Take an interpreter.

One of my favourite (note the U) things is listening to both Canadians and Americans try to pronounce some of the old English names. Of course, the favourite is Worcestershire. Try Wooster-sheer. See easy! Another one of my favourites is Loughborough (Lufboro) I had trouble with that one when I first came across it. I think that somewhere along the line someone sold England a whole bunch of surplus letters and we’ve been trying to use them up ever since. Probably William the Conqueror, that bast..d.

Once in a while, I come up with an expression that I haven’t used since I left England 52 years ago. I also sometimes have to stop and think about which word I have to use Canadian or English. It’s funny how our brains work. (Rosalie said especially mine.)

I use a lot of English slang words around Rosalie and she tends to use them on other people. I suggested that she shouldn’t do this as one of us needs to be understood.

I tell people now that I speak several languages, English, Canadian, some Spanish and a smattering of American. But I still don’t get why they don’t understand me. And then there’s our good friend Peter Who’s Australian, a whole other language.

After looking and listening I’ve failed to find any more words that Americans pronounce properly, so if you have any ideas send me an email. Anyway, ruuuf what’s a ruuuf? I think it may be that thing on a house to keep the rain out, but I’m not sure,