Payback time

Since I’ve not been feeling so good lately, I had to ask Rosalie to drive as I still feel too wobbly. I’ve missed three beer days in a row so it must be serious. She is taking excellent care of me though.

At first, I was feeling a bit down about not driving but after a while, I thought it was a great time for some payback—a promotion from driver to back seat driver.

I have learned to say things like “Watch your speed! ” or “You’re in the wrong lane! ” One of my favourites is “Don’t park there, the one next to it is six feet closer to the store!” She used to grin at my comments but lately, it’s turned into a snarl. And of course “I wouldn’t have gone this way, my way is much shorter.”

Sometimes she does listen to my directions as we both know that she has no sense of direction. Instead of going from point A to point B, she tends to go from point A to point Q to point B. Fortunately, I haven’t lost her yet so that’s a good thing.

With this wobblyness has come the dreaded no alcohol edict. So Rosalie now gets her own back on me. She’ll stroll into the house and come out with a glass of tequila. Then she gives me a wink, looks me right in the eye, takes a sip and sighs like a contented cat. Then she says “Wow that was smooth, too bad you can’t have some.” When it’s gone she likes to kiss me just to give me a whiff of what I’m missing. (Double entendre not intended.) Then she goes inside again coming out with a cold glass of wine dripping with condensation. Oh, she’s so mean! I have often done the same thing to her when she’s off booze so I guess I earned the payback.

I know this is mostly fantasy on my part, but we’ve managed to keep our sense of humour going through the last few weeks. I hope that’s one thing we never lose.