Category: Uncategorized

Apparently, it’s not me after all!

We were talking to Mike and Fern the other day who mentioned they had two friends with the same symptoms as me: shortness of breath, dizziness and high blood pressure. So my conclusion that I had a virus seems more plausible now. I did say before, that I would make a great Doctor with my diagnostic skills.

I found an amazing article about tequila that justifies us drinking it. As usual, I don’t believe anything without first verifying it, so I asked Rosalie and she said it’s true. So, there we are!

When we had Covid a few years ago, I had a cough that wouldn’t go away. After two weeks I decided to try the Mexican cure: two shots of tequila, two nights in a row and sure enough I haven’t coughed since. However, one sip of tequila, or any other liquor and I start sneezing. So there’s no chance of me sneaking a sip on the quiet as Rosalie does.

Now Rosalie has been checking out Mezcal. Apparently, it’s even healthier than tequila. We haven’t tried it but will as soon as we get back to Melaque. Mezcal is made only from three-times distilled Agave whereas tequila has some additives. One kind, Mezcal de Pechuga does have strange additives such as chicken breast, fruits, nuts and herbs. The chicken is suspended above the mix on the final distillation and drips into the mix until only the bones are left. It sounds disgusting but has a unique flavour and is more expensive than regular mezcal.

I have had a schisis (a partial retinal tear) in my eye for about fifteen years. It doesn’t affect my sight but the ophthalmologist keeps an eye on it. (Ha Ha.) When I went to the optometrist for a test to get contacts, he checked me out and immediately called a retina surgeon in Victoria to make an appointment for a consultation.

The drive was two and a half hours long and the surgeon said the same as the ophthalmologist in Nanaimo; we should keep an eye on it. It was a waste of time. I think the young optometrist in Nanaimo panicked. The day wasn’t all wasted as we had a great visit with Rosalie’s sister Marina.

It’s good to be driving again. Rosalie did a great job but I was uncomfortable hiding under the dash. She usually needs the bathroom as soon as we start driving so I tell her “You better go before we go or you will want to go after we’ve gone and won’t be able to go until we get there.”

We assume that Alan our pet squirrel has either gone on permanent vacation or passed away. His/her kids, however, are still around and have fun waking us up at 6 am by dropping green pine cones on the metal roof of the trailer. It sure makes a din.

It’s getting cooler and wetter so it must be close to Melaque time. I got out my trusty list of things that need to be done before we go. It’s quite extensive so I had better get started soon. The longer list is for our last day when we have to put the car and the trailer away for the winter. It will all get done eventually and it will be worth it once we get back to our home down there.

After the party last week, the diehards were sitting and having a few last drinks when a St Bernard dog wandered in with two puppies. Only Chris and I saw two pups but everyone else saw only one. Maybe Chris and I had too much tequila but apparently, the other one had taken off home.

They both looked hungry so Laura brought a bowl of food which Mum gobbled up really fast. The pup trying to feed off Mum was whining as it wasn’t getting anything.

Chris and Laura seemed to have everything under control so we went to bed. And then the fun started. They told us the story later.

They went back to their trailer and posted a message on Facebook trying to find the owner. At one point Mum took off home and Chris followed them out of the park, until it disappeared up a neighbour’s driveway. Then he came home again thinking it was all over. After a while Mum showed up again but this time with five pups.

They herded them onto their enclosed deck and finally an owner was discovered. She asked them to hold the dogs until morning, which wasn’t going to happen as the dogs were bouncing all over the place and it was hard to keep them all together.

Eventually, the owner showed up to retrieve them. She said that there were originally eight pups but three had been sold that day. She thought maybe Mum had escaped to go look for them, dragging her whole tribe along.

Laura made the mistake of saying the dogs had looked hungry and the owner took offence, insisting that they were well looked after. They had looked hungry to us.

They were really cute pups and I think Laura would have liked to keep one but she already has a cute little Shih Tzu called Jax.

Update:

I was enjoying a cup of tea on the deck this morning when who should show up? Yes, it was Mum and four of her puppies. Mum sniffed around for a while and then took off with the herd of pups tumbling over themselves to keep up. Very cute.

Time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like a banana.

Time is flying fast It’s Rosalie’s seventy-fifth birthday and she made the absolute best of it. First, we celebrated it at the Melaque party. She got some gifts thank you, even though we asked people not to bring any.

Then on the actual day, we had lunch at the Lanzville Pub with Peter and Suzie, Ray and Yvone, Walter and Valerie. Rosalie and I shared a bottle of wine and had an awesome meal. There were lots of laughs and everyone had a great time.

Afterwards, we dropped in to see Dave and Barb to see how Dave was recovering after his hip surgery. He must be doing well as we are taking him to the pub on Thursday.

That evening we went over to Jim and Ylda’s place and had more laughs as well as more wine and tequila. Altogether a great day.

This seems to be a bad year for fruit flies. I set up three devious traps full of apple cider vinegar and saw them drown by the dozen. However, the promiscuous little beasts must be bonking like crazy as we still had lots flying around.

So Mrs Google must have the answer. After taking care of basic things like putting food away and emptying the garbage, she suggested a spray bottle with IPA in it. I thought the idea was to get them drunk and then beat them up. But no, they meant Rubbing alcohol. Oh, too bad it sounded like fun.

Anyway, I loaded a spray bottle and prepared for the massacre. Sure enough, they died like flies. So, the next morning I got up with confidence that there would be no more left. I put on the lights and there they were sitting on the spray bottle and the edge of the traps looking bored and not in the least bit afraid. They were probably sorting out their partners for the next night and finding more ways to piss me off.

I’m not a morning person

They seem to be diminishing a bit, so maybe I’m making some headway. The sad part is that I know they will be back next year.

I seem to have trouble with small things: Spiders, Chihuahuas, fruit flies, Rosalie….

Because we are ancient it qualifies us for the federal dental program. Ooh cool! So we decided to find out what our tax dollars are giving us.

This guy needed help

After phoning around a bit to find a dentist participating in the program we eventually found one in Qualicum Beach, so booked an appointment for each of us.

Our teeth get cleaned in Mexico where they do a good job but don’t do an in-depth exam so this was a lot more intensive. The first appointment was only for an assessment and any treatment would come later.

I found out that I had a few cavities under old fillings and was happy they found out as one was close to needing a root canal. Rosalie found that she could have a problem with the implant she got in Mexico so it was a good thing that we got on this program otherwise it would have been very expensive.

A deductible had to be paid so it cost us about $100. We are okay with that. So now there are some appointments lined up but most are after we get back in April.

One of my favourite pastimes here is yelling at people who go over the 5 km limit in the resort. It’s fun and gives me a chance to exercise my vocal chords. Some people listen but a few don’t so, often they get yelled at by security across the street from us as well. One guy came roaring by riding a pink handicap cart doing about 30 km, I yelled and he didn’t slow down so security had to have a word with him.

There are three good reasons for not speeding in the resort: We have great-grandkids here and don’t want them hurt, Speeding creates a lot of dust and thirdly it’s a park rule.

We sit outside in the evening and watch TV on a little 24-inch set. After rearranging the deck to have more room, I saw the perfect spot for a big-screen TV. I suggested it to Rosalie and got a very cold look. After a little whining and snivelling, she agreed that I could look on the Facebook marketplace for a used one.

I got the look!

I found three but only managed to communicate with one person in Courtenay. The TV was a 55″ so I made an appointment for 11 am on Saturday and we went to look at it. It was plasma which I didn’t really want as they are so heavy. Also, it wasn’t plugged in so we couldn’t see it working. The young lady selling it looked honest and was only asking $100 so we decided to take a chance.

After getting it home, Mike across the road helped me to lift it onto a table so that I could set it up.

After plugging all the cables in and setting up the soundbar, I held my breath and turned it on. It worked great! It’s not a smart TV but we have a Firestick and that’s all we need, so we are happy with the whole deal. Even Rosalie was pleased so I sent a Text to the lady thanking her.

Does anyone want to buy a 24″ TV?

With all the medical problems I’ve supposedly had over the last few months, I was thinking that I had better find an undertaker. Fortunately, not necessary. Rosalie had to make a quick call to the insurance broker to cancel the claim.

My symptoms are all back to normal and I’m off all the extra meds I was having to take. Part of the problem was that I would get one med, then I needed another one to counter the first one. Then when that one caused a different problem, I had to take yet another med to counter it, only to find that one was causing issues for the first one I took.

Anyway, the BP is down and the dizzy spells have dissipated so I’m feeling much better. I’m feeling quite normal, whatever that is. I still have to do a few scans to make sure my heart is okay and of course, I still have my leg problem.

I went for an ultrasound on my leg and that Doc thought it was a blood clot. However, my GP just told me that it’s actually a narrowing of the artery and can easily be fixed with surgery. I have to get an echogram done, and hopefully before we head south. So, only two more CT scans, an echogram and an echocardiogram and I’m good to go. All this just to find out that there’s probably nothing wrong.

I asked if all this could have been a virus. My GP said that I had symptoms that could be caused by a virus but without definite proof, he couldn’t say. A virus is my thinking and I’m sticking to it. After this diagnosis I think I would make a good doctor, all I would have to do is walk around looking important saying “Yup, sounds like a virus!”

Maybe it’s all just me. I’ve been told by a few people that I’m probably an alien so that would account for it. I know I can be a bit strange but I don’t think I’m that strange. It’s not about being from England either. Dogs won’t bite us because we’re poisonous, but we’re not that different from other people.

Anyway, I’m back!

Friday came around and the weather forecast predicted rain for Saturday so I had to get all the tarps out of storage.

I spent the whole day getting them just right for the water runoff. I put up one and when I looked up there were holes all through it, off to the dump. By putting them up it was a guarantee that it wouldn’t rain on the day.

After that, I was a little worn out

Saturday morning was the final panic time. I had to make sure there were enough seats and tables for forty people. I ended up with thirty-eight but knew that Rosalie and I wouldn’t be sitting down much anyway so it turned out okay. We have better plans for next year.

The tables had to be prepared and we got a lot of help from our friend Maureen who stayed with us for a few days.

Three o’clock came and I got changed into my spiffy party shirt. People started to arrive and the fun began. With the cooperation of Mike and Fern, our security friends from across the street, we had lots of room for parking.

Eventually, I opened up the Taqueria and started to cook, with Peter as my trusty helper, serving as usual. We did well, but next year I have to make a few adjustments for faster service as Peter and I got fed up with the whining while people waited. And darn it, I forgot to put out the tip jar.

We had a lovely Mexican friend Claudia, as a guest and she said my tacos were just great so I was relieved about that. I have to give credit to Rosalie though as she did all the prep and spicing for the meat. The chicken was awesome.

It happens to be Rosalie’s 75th birthday next week so part of the celebration was for that. She got lots of accolades, some great cakes as well as cards and some gifts even though she said people shouldn’t bring any. She also had thirty-nine people singing Happy Birthday. To cap it off Claudia sang to her in Spanish.

Then the desserts came out, and as a special treat, Claudia made fresh churros. Delicious! And she said she would make more next year.

As people started to leave we were left with a hard core of about eight people and that’s when the tequila came out. Finally, we were down to just Jim and Ylda, Rosalie and I. Eventually, I chased Jim and Ylda home and went to bed, but not before declaring it a very successful party even though I forgot to wear my Taco T-shirt, forgot the music and we didn’t play Jenga.

The next day Rosalie and I got up early and started to clean up. We had moved our good chairs off the deck and replaced them with Bob and Marleen’s picnic table which is made of steel and quite heavy. I’m starting to realise that I’m not as strong as I used to be and need help. Mike offered and also called on Fern and between the three of us got everything back to normal.

Rosalie was feeling it the next day

Then I had to take the tarps down again. You have to remember that I was a little hung-over and had to go up a ladder a few times. I got the two small ones down and decided to leave the large one until Tuesday when it would be sunny. However, after lunch, I decided to take it down too.

And of course, it didn’t rain.

Saturday is our annual Melaque party. Each year it seems to get bigger. This year we have 41 confirmed attendees. Rosalie said to heck with that and she’s off to visit family for the weekend. I don’t believe her though. I think she’s off to a spa until it’s all over.

The weather for once is refusing to cooperate. It’s been up and down all week but it finally looks like we will have rain on the day. This has happened before so we are prepared. I have a good supply of tarps and will ensure that at least Peter and I, the main servers, will stay dry. Otherwise, it’s every man or woman for themselves; I’m sure I’ll get wet.

I’m in the process of sneaking around and stealing tables and chairs from all our friends. Then I have to make sure that we can fit them under the tarps.

The food is all ready and just waiting for the day. Because of all the people, we bought an extra 1.4 litre bottle of tequila, just for Rosalie and me.

I’m writing this outside on the deck. We had to stop watching our TV show out here because of the noise of the rain pounding on the roof. We have our table with a propane fire in the middle to take the chill off. We could be inside of course where it is nice and warm but we prefer to be outside, and we do have a small TV out here, also we’re snug, wrapped in our Mexican blankets.

I just thought of all the work between now and Saturday: putting up tarps; arranging tables and chairs; preparing the cooking facilities etc. etc. And of course, I have an ultrasound scheduled in Nanaimo tomorrow, as well as beer day and our usual in-town chores and then a contact lens fitting.

In the meantime, Rosalie is flying around the house waving the vacuum cleaner around and pretending to work hard. I came in a few times and saw her eyeing the tequila. She has been working hard though as we have a sleepover guest for a few nights and she has to prepare for that.

After looking at all the work we have to do, I thought of joining Rosalie and her family for the weekend, but then there’s that bottle of tequila.

In the last year, I had been feeling guilty that a lot of people around me have health issues and I have had no serious ones. When asked how many meds I take I would look away and guiltily murmur “One.”

Then the roof fell in! I now have four distinct issues but I feel like I’m finally in the club. My issues are minor compared to a lot of people I know, but I intend to whine about it anyway.

After my stint in Emergency, the tests have been coming fast and furious. I had a bladder ultrasound last week and a stress test this week and I am looking at another ultrasound next week. After the stress test, the Doctor signed me up for another CT scan.

This afternoon my family Doctor said that he also wants another CT scan. We talked about getting both scans done at the same time. The organs in question are three inches apart, but apparently, this is too difficult for our healthcare system to handle, so now I have to wait and see.

The doctors have been great and are trying to get all the tests done before we go back to Mexico in mid-October.

On top of this, I innocently went to an optometrist to get a vision test so that I could get a contact lens to give me monocular vision. After the test, he jumped up and down all excitedly and said that the schisis in my eye, which I have had for years, needs urgent attention. He called a retina surgeon in Victoria who agreed with his findings, of a progressively detaching retina. Now I am waiting (again) for a call from them.

The upshot of all this is, I’m in no danger and the problems are mostly minor. So apparently, I have nothing to complain about. Well, maybe, except for the stress test. It went like this:

I asked if I was going to get the treadmill or the lying-down test. The technician said the treadmill, as the lying down one was for woosies.

The technician took me into a room and made me lie down. So far so good! Then the torture began. He cleaned lots of little areas of my body with very cold sterile pads. Next, he got out some 40 grit sandpaper and tried to take several layers of skin off. When he had finished that he got the pads, gave each one a lick and stuck them on me. Then he checked my BP; 200/101. I wasn’t in the least surprised.

I thought that was it but no, he led me to the treadmill and made me walk uphill going nowhere at a furious rate to see if he could kill me. I fooled him and survived but I ended up panting like a puppy in the heat.

Through all this, Rosalie, the love of my life, was making jokes at my expense. I told her that I wanted her to become a comedian and get on stage so that I could throw rotten tomatoes at her.

My older brother, trying to cheer me up, said that he took a few pills until he reached my age, and then he suddenly had to take lots. I scoffed at this but said nothing. Now instead of the one I felt guilty about, I have to take six.

Well, we have to laugh a lot as it helps with the healing process.

Rosalie has been making sourdough bread and the first one she did was delicious. However, she didn’t want to make another for me as it was a lot of work pulling it and her wrists would get sore. So I suggested she put it in her bread-making machine and set it on ‘pull my dough’ and the result would be that I would get my dough pulled every hour and end up with a well-pulled dough and her wrists wouldn’t get sore.

Well, I thought it was funny.

When we have company I’m not allowed to use the “guest towel” but have to use the towel set aside just for me. I feel so special.

The news the other day suggested that we should no longer have seniors discounts. Some people agree and some disagree. I absolutely agree that we should. Rosalie and I can get by without it but we take advantage of it as much as possible as it helps. I think of what a help it would have been to my Mum when I was little and she didn’t have much income.

Just one example, think of a senior whose kids on the mainland just had a baby and she has to pay $16 on the ferry each way to go see them. That money would put a lot of food on her table. I know, the kids could pay but maybe they are in the same boat. Anyway, it was just an example of how senior discounts help.

Seniors helped to build this country, should get respect and a little extra once in a while. So there! Soon I’ll shut up about it, but first:

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

Evelyn Beatrice Hall

Parents today give their kids the most peculiar names. There is Frant Zappa’s Moon and Dweezil Zappa, Elon Musk’s Strider and Azure with Zilis, X Æ A-Xii, Exa Dark Sideræl, and Techno; and many more, as he has eleven living children with three different women.

What happened to George or Sheila, Tom or Elizabeth? I was at the Doctor’s office the other day and liked their dogs’ names much more than modern ones.

Way more civilized; I particularly like Carrot.

While in Mexico we met a lady with a kid named Axel. As we had been in the pub and had a few, we saw the funny side of this and decided that as he was named after a car part we would do the same for our kids (??) We had already decided that we would like Ocho for our firstborn so would follow that up with Gearbox, I think the next one should be Stixshift or Carbraeter-Turn Signal and for a girl Blinker-Flueed.

As the Melaque party is getting close and I’m feeling a lot better, I have been catching up on a few jobs. I had to re-paint the deck but first decided to power wash the skylights. Rosalie of course, gave me my first instruction “DO NOT GET ON THE ROOF”. A few minutes later I heard “WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE”! She scared me so much that I almost fell off, and then I panicked and said, “It was a gust of wind.” I don’t think she believed me. But I live on, barely.

We had a nice evening with Jim and Ylda a while ago. We discussed when Jim was younger and all the men in his life who helped him along the way. It struck me that I didn’t have any of that and how it affected my life.

I don’t want the following to be about feeling sorry for myself. I’m not whining either because there are a lot more people who grew up like me and who have it way worse than me. I did okay!

But for me the story is interesting, so here goes.

I left school on a Friday at age fifteen. I started work on the following Monday at a large grocery store.

Our school “career advisers” found the job for me and that was it. I had little or no say. It was normal that when you left school you got a regular job or an apprenticeship. Either way, you were expected to pay toward your keep. I was raised by a single Mum so my wage was important to help her with the household expenses. So I started work.

I didn’t think beyond that, as my Mum was single and my Dad left home when I was eight. My Mum was fifty-eight when I left school. It didn’t occur to me to try for an apprenticeship and there was no one to push me in that direction.

The silly thing about this is, if the “career advisors” had looked at my school records they would have seen that I was excellent at wood and metalwork. So I wonder why they didn’t steer me into an apprenticeship. It could have changed everything.

My three brothers had left home earlier to get away from our Dad’s abuse. Our family was ostracised by the rest of the clan because of it, so I only saw an uncle or aunt occasionally, maybe once a year. Then my brothers all got married so I grew up with no male guidance.

If you were a poor kid in our school system you were ignored and not expected to go anywhere in the world. I think they equated poor financially with poor intelligence.

So life went on and I went from job to job but always working. Eventually, I moved to Nottingham, met my first wife, had my daughter and emigrated.

When I arrived in Canada, I carried on as usual as I didn’t know then that I could have gotten an apprenticeship even at the age of twenty-four. As far as I knew, once I left school, that was my only chance.

I didn’t stay at one company for more than about five years before I quit and went somewhere else. I have no idea why I bounced around like that (probably my quick temper however I was only fired once). Anyway, I was always working.

I’ve mostly been in the burglar alarm industry so my greatest claim to fame is when I was installation manager with a staff of fifty and a three million dollar operating budget. That only ended after a personality clash with my boss; it wasn’t because of my quick temper though.

I have little regrets about how my life turned out. While sitting that evening with Rosalie, Jim and Ylda, as well as the previous day with Peter and Suzie, I realized that I wouldn’t change moments like that with friends for any amount of money.

As I’ve said before, while sipping a margarita on the beach in Melaque “How the hell did a welfare kid like me get to be in this beautiful place?”