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Okay! not real divorce: Malc had been religiously recording all the activities and while playing it back, we happened to hear during the time that we were enjoying the appies that some fool had decided to play D.I.V.O.R.C.E. We still laugh about it, however, it wasn’t the last musical incident that we encountered. After Malc returned home he sent us a video of himself and a friend singing ‘Unchained Melody’; Rosalie’s former husband’s favourite song, dedicated to us. It’s now ours, we claim it for our own.

Rosalie and I stayed at the Dorchester Hotel for our honeymoon night. Amy and her husband John had set it up for us. It was a great night as all wedding nights should be. I will say no more!

The next day while some of the family was still here I opened a bottle of Rothchild wine that I had won in a competition at Investors Group where I worked. It was allegedly worth about $250 but after sharing it out we decided that $2.50 would have been closer to the mark.

The transmission on the car had been repaired and as we were still hosting Malc and Viv we decided to go camping for a couple nights of our honeymoon. Rosalie and I had our own tent, so I borrowed another one for the visitors and we drove to Tofino to find a place to stay. Our campsite was at Pacific Shores costing an exorbitant amount for a couple of tents.

Sometime that afternoon, while walking on the beach, someone noticed that there were a lot of mussels on the rocks so we collected a whole bunch, not knowing that a licence was needed. Perhaps it wasn’t back then. I remember Rosalie walking back to the campsite with pockets full of mussels and very wet shorts.

Understanding the danger of red tide and not knowing what we were really in for, only a few were cooked to see if our lips went numb. Passing that test, we settled in for a feast of mussels, garlic butter and red wine. It ended up being a great evening.

After the feast, I set up the tent and air mattress for Malc and Viv then started to set up our own camp. Our air mattress pump was making a squeak…squeak…squeak noise which set Malc and Viv off into a giggling fit.

Finally, Rosalie and I settled down for the night. About half an hour later we realized that our air mattress had a leak and we were laying on the hard ground. When our own giggling stopped we decided to sleep in the car. Of course, the short person got the whole back seat and I got the steering wheel.

For those who don’t know, (Linda) if you use the arrows to the left or right you can scroll through the photos.

Honeymoons are traditionally about being alone together and enjoying each other. I think a honeymoon with friends is a lot more fun. Our honeymoon lasted from when we first met until we got married… and then continued on. And, it ain’t over yet.

Eventually, Malc and Viv had to go home as did everybody else and we were left alone with lots of great memories.

Our marriage like all marriages has had its ups and downs. We’ve been lucky that few of them have been about our relationship. Mostly things outside our control. We recovered spectacularly from bankruptcy and now have a great life living six months in each of Canada and Mexico.

What’s next? Who knows, we just keep trucking along and know that something fun will turn up; it always does.

As for our adventures covered in these three blogs; neither of us would change a single thing.

Money was a bit short so we opted to have the ceremony in our backyard. Rosalie’s sister Giselle and her husband Gordon brought a huge frozen salmon with them from Terrace packed in ice, so we had lots to eat. Another of her sisters came, Delorie, with her husband Tom. Rosalie’s parents were also there, along with Rosalie’s daughter Amy, and her (future) husband John.

On my side, I had my good friends Malcolm and Vivian (hereafter after referred to as Malc and Viv) as well as my three daughters. Lisa, Lesley and Lorraine, plus their husbands and our six grandkids.

Before the ceremony, our friend Dave took us to the park to do a photoshoot. The day was overcast and gloomy which matched my mood exactly. When Dave got the photos back some were very dark as the camera settings were wrong. However, we did get a full album of very nice pictures. Thank you, Dave.

The ceremony went off well, Rosalie looked great in her Mum’s wedding dress. I had on my best (and only) suit. The marriage commissioner who married us was a nice lady.

After the ceremony, everyone enjoyed some appies and then went into the house for the real reason everybody came, the free food and booze. At one point we thought the place was a bit overcrowded. We had received replies to our invitations and expected thirty-five people. When we took a count we found that there was at least sixty.

At this point, panic set in as we were worried that we didn’t have enough food and booze but the thing we were mostly short of was space. People were sitting everywhere. Everyone was spread throughout the house sitting wherever they could. The main party, us, was out on the deck so we were fine; that is until it started to rain. Luckily, two of my sons-in-law were able to scramble onto the roof and hang up a tarp.

Our friends Maureen and Barb had made us a wedding cake. They used seven pounds of butter and it took me several months to work it off.

As it turned out we had plenty of food and booze and everyone adapted to the lack of space. Malc did his best man speech (It was an hour long but I had to cut him off after ten minutes) and I did my bridegroom speech. I hate speaking to a crowd of people but for some reason, it was fine that day.

I may sound as though I didn’t want to get married but I really did. How could I not want to be with this beautiful lady? Not only beautiful looking but has an inner beauty that I will always appreciate. She also needs a good sense of humour which she has, as I do tend to lean on her for a lot of the humour in the blogs.

We were talking to someone about how we met and as we were recounting the story I decided that it might make a decent blog; so, here it is…

I had been separated from my wife for eleven months and was attending a Canadian Power Squadron course. There were two separate classes, one on Wednesday and one on Thursday. They were combined one weekend for a Bearings and Fixes navigation course in Nanaimo Harbour.

I went with two of my buddies and we were pouring over maps at one of the tables when a really cute little blonde lady walked by. As she passed, I thought to myself “I wish she would come and stand at our table.” No sooner was the thought out when she turned around and came and stood right next to me. (She says she heard me call her.) “The rest” as they say ” is history.

This is how Rosalie looked when I first saw her.

Rosalie wanted to buy a sail boat, and I wanted a power boat so I knew I would have to learn to sail. Within the month, and after admitting that we liked each other, she whisked me off, first to Long Beach for a weekend and then to Mazatlan for a week.

Rosalie proposed to me on Valentine’s Day 1996 and after huge pressure, I finally agreed as I was on anti-depressant meds at the time and didn’t know what I was doing. We agreed on the day as 11th July 1998 and so my fate was sealed.

A few weeks before the great event Rosalie was driving my car when the timing belt broke and wrecked the engine. Fortunately, we still had her propane-powered 1983 Olds Delta 88.

My lifelong buddy Malcolm was coming from England to be my best man and hopefully talk me out of this nonsense. As we didn’t have my car, I used the Delta 88 to go to the Vancouver airport to pick up Malc and his wife Vivian. Rosalie had to work so I had to go alone. After picking them up, I decided to take the route through Vancouver so they could see something of the city. We got to the Upper Levels highway when I looked out of my rearview mirror and saw a cloud of smoke. My first thought was that some poor soul had an engine fire. The car started to slow down and I realized that it was us, belching out the smoke. It turned out the transmission had quit.

So, there I was on the Upper Levels highway with a broken car, visitors from England with their luggage trying to thumb a lift to the ferry terminal. Fortunately, a couple found our situation amusing enough to take us all the way there. We were picked up by our friend Larry in Nanaimo and taken home.

So, we didn’t have a car, but visitors from England to entertain. Malc, knowing me for a long time was probably not surprised in the least. I wasn’t sure about Viv though she probably thought I was a complete nut job.

Having no car, we borrowed one from my daughter Lesley. There were one or two problems with that car though. First, only the driver’s door opened so we all had to climb in from one side. Secondly, it ate a lot of oil so we had to pull over and feed it 10-30 oil every 100 km or so.

All this fun and we hadn’t even got to the wedding yet.

I’ve wanted to try surf fishing for a while so when Art Jr offered to take me I jumped at the chance. He’d mentioned it in previous trips so I bought a rod, reel and a few lures while in Canada. Art was nice enough to bring it down in his truck for me.

The day came with Rosalie and I were up at 6 am (an ungodly hour,) and drove to Art and Linda’s place. We put our stuff in Art’s truck and took off for Restaurante La Mosca near Tenacatita. We weren’t totally sure of the route but managed to wing it arriving safe and sound.

We walked onto the beach and got some exercise as the sand was soft and difficult to walk on. Rosalie quit as it was getting hot and went back to La Mosca for a beer soon to be joined by Linda.

Art and I fished for about an hour with no luck. I did catch a big one but it was a wave and soaked me through to my undies. I didn’t have a change of clothes so toughed it out until they dried. It was hot so I didn’t care too much.

Art, practicing futility. What a sunrise?

It was my first time and I found it completely different from lake casting. For a start, the rod is longer (10 feet) and the reel is faster. The lures are heavy so they can be cast farther. At first, I kept dragging the lure on the bottom until I learned to reel in faster. I got it in the end but it made no difference, we still got skunked. I need to buy a bit more equipment before we go again but there is a great fishing store in Melaque so no problema.

La Mosca (the fly) is a very rustic restaurant on a beautiful spot at the end of the beach. There are no umbrellas anywhere. I mentioned it in a blog last year. We sat for a while and then decided to go to La Manzanilla for lunch.

While looking for a parking spot I saw Ron, (you know, the other Ron and Diane) so I jumped out and said “Hi!” In the meantime, Art continued driving and I had to chase them up the road. I eventually lost them. I called Rosalie and asked if they were on their way back to Melaque. Luckily for me, they were only looking for a parking spot and we eventually met up at Quinta Valentina’s for lunch.

We sat for a while enjoying the ambiance, walked in the surf for a bit and eventually left for home. Another great day in paradise.

Strange happenings! In my last blog, I mentioned that Rosalie had her Happy two hours to get overhauled and repainted while I went home and had a nap.

I was told to pick her up at 4:15 and then we would meet Mike and Faye at the beach. But then it all started to fall apart.

I got to the beauty salon at 4:15 only to be informed by Rosalie that she would be another hour. She had tried to call me but we had forgotten to add more time to our phones. I hustled to the nearest OXXO store and got us reconnected. The first thing I did was call Mike and Faye. No answer! So back to the beauty salon to confer with Rosalie.

We decided that I should drive to the beach and tell Mike and Faye about our dilemma. As I had some time to kill I was hoping for a quick cerveza while waiting. When I got there I couldn’t see them at first but then I thought I saw them right on the beach so I went to investigate. No, not them; it sure didn’t look like Mike. So back to pick up Rosalie. I had another half hour to wait so I sat in the car reading my book on my phone.

The next day I called Mike and Faye to apologize for not meeting them. It was then I found out it was them on the beach and I had miss identified Mike. The only defence I have is that the sun was right in my eyes. We did meet them the next day at the same place so it turned out fine.

After I’d picked up Rosalie we went for dinner at a local Chinese restaurant where we ran into Eddie. Eddie is our local expert on all things to do with the Mexican Government as well as owning some taxis and selling satellite TV boxes. He also runs tourists to and from Puerto Vallarta during the season.

We use his services often. He got our car registered for us and does the re-licensing every year. We are going to get our car insurance through him. He mentioned that he can help us with our ‘Residente Permanente’ next year. This was important information as we were told by immigration that we would need to be back here in September when It’s hot and rainy. Eddie said that all we needed was a few days ahead of our expiry date which is 11th October 2023.

Three of Rosalie’s sisters and one brother-in-law arrived yesterday and we had a great evening with them at our place; lots of food, lots of catching up, and of course lots of booze.

It was time to pick up my glasses. I was a little apprehensive as this is Mexico after all. Over the last week, we have seen a lot of reviews about this optician and they were almost all positive. I needn’t have worried because when I picked them up they were great. I chose not to get any kind of coating as they throw off the natural colour of things and I didn’t like that. now I can stop bumping into stuff.

While having drinks with Brent and Hauna, they asked us how we met and we started to tell them the story. It then occurred to me that some of the events were so entertaining that they might make a good blog.

I started to write and it was all coming back to me after almost twenty-seven. and a half years. Rosalie and I had a great time reminiscing. It started as one blog but I soon realized that to tell it right I had to break it down into three separate blogs. So far it looks okay, unfortunately, I can’t find the photos online to go along with them. I have them on an external hard drive in Canada but that doesn’t help me here so I will have to wait until we get back to do the posts.

Rosalie got her usual beauty treatments today while I get a much-enjoyed couple of hours to myself. Unfortunately, she sent me a selfie while in the process; you can see my reaction! I almost wish I hadn’t got my new glasses. Luckily we’re going to the beach after for a margarita so I may have to have two just to help me get over it.

A few of the restaurants here are starting to add 15-20% tips to their bills which we believe is illegal in Mexico. This is ticking a lot of people off. Sometimes they don’t notice the add-on and pay anyway, paying a tip on top of a tip. We caught it once so won’t go back to that particular restaurant. Now we scrutinize every bill.

I’m finding it hard to find things to write about lately. I’m sure everyone is tired of me keep saying “We went to the beach today” especially if you live up North right now with all the cold weather and snow. I think I may have to start making things up; over and above my usual exaggerations that is. That’s why I am so happy to change things up and write about our wedding.

I’ll keep trying, something will turn up.

As we are moving next season, we had to get up the courage to tell Raquel. She took it fine and understood that it is very wet out here. We talked to Blanca who will be our landlady next year and got everything sorted out for storing our stuff. If the people in there now move out before we leave we can move our stuff right in. If not, we leave it with Blanca and move it when we get back next season. I’ve been doing a mental inventory, boy, we have accumulated a lot of stuff over the last few years.

My glasses have a coating on them which is very scratched and I was having trouble seeing out of them. There is an optician near Papa Gallo’s (convenient) so I popped in for advice. He said I need new glasses so I ordered some. I had my prescription so that made it easy. I went to reach for my glasses as we left and he said, “No! I keep these for now.” My new ones will be ready on the 28th so I can amuse Rosalie by bumping into things in the meantime. Fortunately, I don’t need them for driving. The total cost will be $2,500 pesos or about $152 CND. Not bad!

I thought for a while that I would never come back here as I couldn’t find my tetra packs of wine anywhere. We found a few but we usually buy a case of twelve to last us a few days. We eventually found a location with the help of a long-time resident and friend of ours. Phew, just in time, Rosalie was starting to have hallucinations, she thought I was a scorpion and kept trying to hit me with her shoe.

Talking of my lovely wife. She booked our return flights home today. The flight leaves from PV so we’ll spend the night there and perhaps revisit the Malecón. Our flight arrives in Vancouver on 13th April but we’ll have to stay in a hotel overnight and then fly Harbour Air on the 14th. That’s a lot off our minds. The whole process of booking stressed Rosalie out a bit though.

It’s amazing how you can create something from nothing. We usually watch Netflix, but this evening for some reason Rosalie wanted music. With Amazon music turned on, a fabulous evening followed listening to old rock music. We usually listen for an hour and then watch a movie. Today though it was such a great time we played music right through until bedtime. A few glasses of wine were involved for a truly magical evening. Something from nothing, I love it. With the volume up it even managed to drive out all the Mexican music playing around and about.

It looks as though the Vid is starting to make inroads here. We’re hearing of more and more people coming into contact with it. Some people thought they had the Vid but tested negative. This proves that there are other illnesses other than Covid. The good news for us is that as we have had it we may not have to get a PCR test prior to leaving here, Just proof of a positive test. This will save us about $300 CDN.

Remember when we were asking if anyone knew of someone who had Covid? Now we’re asking if you know of anyone who hasn’t had it.

For the good news, there are several things. First, it looks as though they are finally doing something about the river running down our road. Raquel arranged for a load of gravel to be delivered and dumped outside our place to clean up some of the mess. I cancelled our Amazon order for a rowboat. I don’t think Rosalie knows how to row anyway.

The next day the municipality started to clean up our road and the machine operator asked if we wanted the gravel levelled out. We called Omar as it was his project. He said “Si” as he would have had to get help from his buddies to move it with shovels and wheelbarrows. He did do a bit of digging so earned himself a cerveza.

The other bit of news is that we are moving next season. Besides the water on the roads, Rosalie feels a little trapped as she likes to walk into town for supplies or just shopping, and she can’t do that here as we are too far out on a dusty road with no shade. Also, the place isn’t the same since the storm devastated everything.

Our new location is in West Melaque near to Jim and Ylda as well as Art and Linda and Art Sr. It’s in the flood zone but we took that into consideration and know that we can cope with it. The owners clean up before we get here anyway. Jim and Ylda were flooded last year and it was cleaned up so well that we could see no difference. Our stuff can be stored up high and they are allowing us to store our car in their carport which is about 1.5 metres above the road level. If they can’t fit it in then there are lots of car storage locations available.

It’s a one-bedroom house with a large front yard and lots of trees. There is an accessible roof and they say they will build a palapa if we’re staying for six months each year. I hope they do, but this is Mexico after all so we’re not holding our breaths. Anyway, Rosalie can easily walk into town from there so she’s happy.

We’re starting to have problems with transferring money from Canada to here so had to write a cheque today. It was pretty expensive but we had to have the cash right away to pay the deposit on the new place so had to suck it up. It will be sorted out later.

Our Covid quarantine finished a couple of weeks ago. So it’s been a while without socializing with anyone. We’ve been going out for lunches and dinners and of course to Papá Gallo’s for drinks. But all by ourselves. It seems as though, like we did last year, people are keeping their heads down and not taking any chances.

Then suddenly we got a whole slew of invitations. (Well two anyway.) Jim and Ylda asked us over for meatballs and spaghetti. How could we refuse? We had a really nice evening with them. Also caught up a bit with Art, Art Sr. and Linda whom we haven’t seen for a while.

Bill and Connie came back to town a few days ago and we’re going out for Chinese with them later. We haven’t seen them for a couple of seasons and look forward to hooking up with them again.

It’s been crazy on the beach over the holiday season. I know it’s their country but I have never seen so many Mexicans in one place all at once. Even the restaurants were often crowded with them whereas last year at this time we were practically alone. Even Raquel mentioned it.

It’s been chilly in the mornings.

We were sitting here listening to what we think was someone playing Mexican Karaoke. It wasn’t bad but had been going on for hours and we were getting a little tired of it. Rosalie wanted to go and punch someone out, but I managed to hold her back and force a glass of wine down her throat ’til she calmed down a notch.

Papá Gallo’s was carnage the other day . First, Gustavo had ripped a nail almost right off his thumb. I offered to complete the job but he declined, much to my relief.

Not to be out done, Alex showed us photos of his young daughter who, while sweeping the floor, somehow fell and and cut both her knee and chin.

After my last post about our various languages, I thought this little item might be interesting, and to some a little confusing.

This is quite a boring blog but not much has been going on down here lately. That may be a good thing, I don’t know.

But wait! I’ve been hearing beeping noises outside all morning so I snuck a look and was shocked to find someone fixing the roads and filling in some of the holes around the village. They had a large grader and the beeping was from it backing up. We’re quite excited as it’s becoming quite a challenge to find a way in and out of here.

I was lamenting the fact that one of our great English words has, because of the internet, slid into Americanism. The word route has always been pronounced “root” there should be no other way. I’m surprised they didn’t drop the ‘u’ and slide us still further into anarchy. As for dropping the U in Colour, well for goodness sakes what’s with that. Thru, what the heck is thru? It’s through everyone knows that.

Then one day I was humming a little tune to myself. I would have sung out loud but the complaints last time were crazy. I suddenly realized that the song was incorrect American language. The little ditty was “Route 66” and in the song, it’s pronounced “Root 66.” I started to get excited realizing that if I could find more words like this I could turn the whole American crazy-assed way of saying and spelling stuff, upside down.

When I first came to Canada in 1969 I had to learn a new language. Not so much a language but a lot of new words. Later as my kids got a bit older one of them was tasked at school with writing as many English words together with their Canadian equivalent. There were literally hundreds. Although many American and Canadian words are similar they are not always the same. And don’t get me started on adding French into the mix.

I was at GM in Buffalo NY talking to the project manager there who happened to be a woman. We wanted security on a cabinet and she told me we could put a ‘lauke’ on it???? I turned to my buddy, a Canadian who looked as baffled as I did. We finally figured out that she meant a lock.

It’s not just the Americas though, it’s as bad in England. You can’t go from one town to the next without Google Translate. You can ask for a dinner roll in one town, a bun in another, a cob in yet another etc, etc.

I once called Tyneside in Northern England regarding my British pension. I had a clear phone line but didn’t understand the operator at all. The Northern England accents are very hard to understand for a Southerner like me but I should have got it. I stalled and finally, my brain clicked in and I could communicate once again. This happened twice. Also, If you ever go to the East End of London, Take an interpreter.

One of my favourite (note the U) things is listening to both Canadians and Americans try to pronounce some of the old English names. Of course, the favourite is Worcestershire. Try Wooster-sheer. See easy! Another one of my favourites is Loughborough (Lufboro) I had trouble with that one when I first came across it. I think that somewhere along the line someone sold England a whole bunch of surplus letters and we’ve been trying to use them up ever since. Probably William the Conqueror, that bast..d.

Once in a while, I come up with an expression that I haven’t used since I left England 52 years ago. I also sometimes have to stop and think about which word I have to use Canadian or English. It’s funny how our brains work. (Rosalie said especially mine.)

I use a lot of English slang words around Rosalie and she tends to use them on other people. I suggested that she shouldn’t do this as one of us needs to be understood.

I tell people now that I speak several languages, English, Canadian, some Spanish and a smattering of American. But I still don’t get why they don’t understand me. And then there’s our good friend Peter Who’s Australian, a whole other language.

After looking and listening I’ve failed to find any more words that Americans pronounce properly, so if you have any ideas send me an email. Anyway, ruuuf what’s a ruuuf? I think it may be that thing on a house to keep the rain out, but I’m not sure,